NC-17 for physical
love and some violence. (Not at the same time – of course.)
I have entered this fanfic in The Voyager Blue Alert NC-17 Competition
Summary: Alien
intruders on Voyager and Janeway has to face both humiliation and threats to her personal
safety. But she also has Chakotay there to help her through it all.
By GB
“Intruder
alert, deck three, eight and ten. Intruder alert, deck three, eight and ten!”
The
computer, setting the klaxons on red alert, had taken the entire senior staff by surprise.
Nothing had shown up on sensor sweeps for weeks. This had just been another tedious day on
the bridge when nothing seemed to be going on.
Tuvok and
his security team had quickly positioned themselves at the decks in question but the
intruders were to many and after a short phaser fight Tuvok had had to order a cease fire
from his crew. They were seriously outnumbered.
Janeway
had ordered a level ten force field around the bridge but to no avail. The alien intruders
just walked right through it.
Now they
were all being moved to cargo bay one. The tall aliens, huge humanoids in some form of
black metal armour, shuffled Voyager’s crew along the corridors much like the
Kazon’s had done three years ago. If that had been a scary experience this was even
worse, these aliens seemed to be more technological advanced and more intelligent than the
in many ways crude Kazon’s.
Voyager’s
crew were silent, waiting for what to come next. They were standing together, carefully
watching their guards. Suddenly the cargo bay doors opened and yet another alien entered
the room.
The
reaction among their guards revealed that he was their leader.
“Where
is your captain?” he asked in a deep, hoarse voice and examined the crew.
“I am
Captain Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager”, Janeway answered calmly and
stepped into the empty circle in the middle of the large room. “Who are you and what
are you planning to do to my crew and my ship?”
“A
female. Now this assignment is getting more and more interesting by the minute. I am
G’rahg of the T’ruhgans. I am impressed with your ship, Captain. With some minor
adjustments it will be a useful addition to our fleet.”
“And
what about my crew? Do you plan to make them another nice addition?” she asked dryly,
remaining composed.
He through
his head back and laughed, a silent hissing noise that sent chills down her back. She
didn’t think he would give her crew the time of day, but there must be something he
wanted, something she could use to bargain with him.
“Captain
Janeway, I have no use for your crew. They are weak and from what we’ve seen, not
very useful in a crisis. But then again, we might not have to get rid of all of you. You,
for instance seem to have courage enough for the rest of this lot.” He stepped up to
her, towered over her like a predator. She didn’t so much as flinch. Instead she
tipped her head back and glared at him.
“What
would be your terms to spare my crew?” she asked coldly.
He grabbed
her hair and yanked her close to him, almost knocking the wind out of her. “Oh, I
would no doubt think of lots of things for you to do, tiny female, but since I have no
intention of letting anyone who isn’t useful live, there is no point in thinking of
that, is there?”
“But
they are all useful”, she claimed, gritting her teeth at the pain in her scalp.
“They are the ones that make this ship run smoothly. They all have their special
assignments and duties. Voyager could not function well without them.”
“So.”
He seemed to give her words some thought. “Then perhaps it is the Captain that is
redundant?”
“As I
said, we are all needed on Voyager to keep the ship running. You know nothing about our
technology, you need us to run the ship.”
He bent
down, his forehead almost touching hers. “You are good at your work then,
Captain?”
“Yes.”
He let her
go and turned to look at her crew. His eyes fell on a dark haired man in front of the rest
of them. His eyes burned with anger under a strange marking on his forehead.
“Your
lover?” G’rahg asked, pointing.
“No,
that is Chakotay, my First Officer, next to me in command.”
“I
wonder. He is furious with me for touching you. Are you lying to me, Captain?”
“No.
Commander Chakotay and I are colleagues and friends, not lovers.”
G’rahg
laughed again. “I am not sure you are telling the truth, but there is one way we
could find out.”
He pulled
Janeway closer and put her in front of himself, her back to his chest. “Look at him,
Captain. He looks like he wants to slit my throat just because I touch you. Let’s see
what he’ll do when I do – this.”
He lifted
one of his hands from her waist and grabbed her right breast and squeezed it hard. Her
gasp of pain was heard throughout the cargo bay. The entire Voyager crew seemed to echo
it, appalled at the way this alien treated their Captain.
Chakotay’s
eyes burned with a black fire that didn’t escape anyone.
Janeway
maintained her calm, didn’t even flinch after her initial gasp. “Let me go. He
doesn’t approve of how you treat me. In a way you’ve proved your point,
G’rahg”, she stated.
“Ah,
but I am having so much fun, Captain. Obviously your race is particular about
touching certain body parts. My men are busy getting an overview of the ship, we have
plenty of time.”
She knew
what he was up to besides agonising Chakotay. He wanted to degrade her, humiliate her in
front of her crew, making them see her less like a captain and more like a … she
lacked for words. Take away her authority, in any way.
She ached
for Chakotay, this was torture for him. She tried to send him silent messages with her
eyes but he could only stare with hate at G’rahg.
G’rahg’s
hands were now unzipping her jacket and pulling it off her arms. She closed her eyes
briefly and started to shiver. Her tunic was pulled over her head. She clenched her teeth
and her fists to prevent herself from reacting to this humiliation. She was only too aware
of the weapons directed at her crew.
G’rahg
ripped her tank top in shreds, leaving her standing facing her crew dressed only in
trousers and a white lace bra.
“What
an enticing garment you wear underneath that strict uniform, Captain”, he purred.
“I bet there are more than one of your male crew members that would like to see it
come off. Maybe I should have pity on them?”
“This
has gone on long enough”, Janeway hissed and tried to take a step forward, away from
his overwhelming body. His strong, wounding hands stopped her again and with one swift
movement he ripped the bra from her small body and left her there, exposed.
Janeway
glanced at Chakotay with burning cheeks and his gaze was there, not on her exposed skin,
but meeting her eyes without hesitation. Looking quickly at her crew she saw the same
thing, they were not looking at her body, but met her eyes with loyalty, sympathy and well
contained rage.
She
thought for a short moment that this was the end of her humiliation but true fear hit her
when she felt G’rahg’s hands on her hips.
He tugged
off her uniform trousers, bringing her panties down with them. One arm lifted her from the
floor, pressed her against him while one of the guards with a snarl pulled the clothes off
all the way together with her booths.
Now she
was naked and couldn’t hide behind anything, even her command mode betrayed her with
its absence.
G’rahg
held her arms trapped behind her as he turned around slowly, exposing her to the entire
Voyager crew. She stumbled on her own feet as her knees seemed to be giving in. She was
not blushing anymore, if anything she must be dead white, she could feel her blood
draining from her face.
“Look
at your Captain, crew? You see her in all her frailty? In all her defencelessness?”
G’rahg sneered holding on to her hands with one hand and putting the other around her
narrow, vulnerable waist. “She is nothing! She is a female like any other among you,
she can be mastered and manipulated like any other inferior creature.”
The crew
stared at him with loathing and hatred. Their Captain was now staggering in front of him,
looking like she was going to pass out any minute. His grip on her was too tight, she
seemed to have trouble breathing.
Chakotay
was the one who first noticed her lips turning blue and her head dropping.
“You
are choking her, G’rahg!” he exclaimed fiercely. “Let her go now, your
little show has served its purpose.”
“Ah,
Commander Chakotay. The ever loyal next in command.” G’rahg looked down on the
slumping figure of the Captain in his hands. “She does seem to look a little under
the weather, doesn’t she? You better take her then. I think she will prove to be less
obstinate from now on. Even you might be able to get your way with her.”
He laughed
again and pushed Janeway’s body in Chakotay’s direction.
Her body
staggered a couple of steps and then she started to fall. Chakotay launched forward and
caught her just in time, before she hit the floor. Her skin was way to cool and clammy to
the touch. He cradled her, one arm around her back and the other under her knees and
stepped back into the crowd of the crew who loyally engulfed the command team, sheltering
their exposed Captain without words.
There
Chakotay handed her trembling body over to Tom Paris and tore off his own jacket and his
tunic. Tom held his Captain with care and B’Elanna Torres, standing next to him with
tears of fury in her eyes, had never seen her lover so solemn, so taken. She reached out
and carefully caressed the Captain’s naked over and over, wanting to offer some
comfort. The usually so larger than life Captain was lying so dreadfully still.
Chakotay
pulled the tunic over Janeway’s head. Tom gently let her feet touch the floor and the
tunic hem fell down all the way to her knees. Chakotay put his jacket on her as well and
it hang loose on her petite body. He carefully zipped it up before Tom lifted her up
again.
Chakotay
looked intently at the pilot and then quickly caressed the Captain’s auburn,
dishevelled hair before directing his ice cold gaze at G’rahg.
“Now
what?” he asked in a low, dangerous tone of voice. “Do we get down to business
or do you want to undress me too?”
The entire
crew stiffened, first at his bold choice of words, how he ridiculed the huge alien and
then at his deadly voice. Never had the solemn, caring Commander sounded so absolutely
threatening and furious.
Even
G’rahg seemed taken aback for a second. He eyed his opponent with a lot less
confidence and glanced at his men before addressing the smaller human.
“I
suppose you agree with your Captain that we need to keep your crew on Voyager to run it
smoothly.”
“I
do.”
“Then
I must say you all seem suspiciously eager to become slaves. That would be the
outcome.” He grinned coldly.
Chakotay’s
eyes didn’t divert from G’rahg’s for a second. “If that is what it
takes to stay alive, we will”, he said, well aware that it was a self-destruct
sequence that would be the inevitable outcome, should the situation not be solved in a way
acceptable to Starfleet protocol. There was no way he or Janeway would risk this ship
ending up in enemy hands.
“What
a spineless, dishonourable way of thinking”, G’rahg mocked with another hissing
laughter. “But of course you’re a spineless, predictable species.”
Chakotay
left him thinking he got the last word, trying to lull the alien into a false sense of
security. He sensed that G’rahg had a huge ego and that it could be made to work to
their advantage.
“You
will all return to your duty stations”, G’rahg stated. “You will be
monitored the entire time via your internal sensor system. My guards will be posted all
through the ship and we will soon be setting course for T’ruhga Prime.” He
walked up to Chakotay. “Is your Captain conscious yet?”
“No”,
Tom Paris lied from behind the Commander. “She is out cold. I think she need medical
attention. Permission to take her to sick bay.”
It
wasn’t entirely a lie, Janeway was awake but had not moved a muscle since she fell
into Chakotay’s arms. Tom was worried sick about his Captain, she could be going into
shock.
“Why
not?” G’rahg answered. “Hand her over to her lover here. I am sure he will
be of no use unless he knows she is going to survive.”
Chakotay
nodded and Tom handed over the motionless Captain to him. Chakotay looked down on his
precious burden. She lay there, eyes closed and hardly even breathing. He didn’t even
look ones at the aliens before he quickly handed over the responsibility for the crew to
Tuvok and started to walk towards the cargo bay doors.
The crew
parted to let him pass. They looked concerned for the Captain and some hands even darted
out to swiftly caress her hair as he passed them. Those signs of total devotion made
Chakotay’s throat ache with subdued feelings for this amazing crew. They would walk
through fire for their Captain if necessary and he had an eerie feeling that they might
just have to.
He entered
sick bay with Janeway and found the Doctor activated and ready to take care of her.
Probably someone in the crew who thought ahead and used his or her comm badge undetected.
No aliens
were present as of yet.
“What
has happened?” asked the Doctor quietly, which was more than a little unusual for
him.
“We
have been boarded and the alien leader decided to try to diminish the Captain in the eyes
of her crew. He stripped her of her clothes and exposed her to everybody.”
Chakotay’s voice was emotionless but his eyes betrayed the torment within.
“And
in what way did this alien think such an action should diminish Captain Janeway in the
eyes of her crew?” asked the Doctor incredulously.
“It
could have, if our crew had not been what they are, totally devoted to this woman.”
“Yes,
of course. And when it didn’t work?”
“He
thinks it did. Let’s let him keep on thinking that, for now.”
The Doctor
nodded while scanning Janeway. “Wise move, Commander.”
“How
is she?”
“She
is not unconscious. She is slipping into shock from her ordeal though.” He
administered a hypospray and some colour appeared on her cheeks. “There you go,
that’s better.”
“Kathryn?”
Chakotay leaned over her and caressed her cheek. “Can you hear me? Open your eyes,
Kathryn.”
Her
eyelids fluttered a little and then slowly revealed her blue eyes, little by little.
“Hi.
There you are. You are safe now, Kathryn. You are not in cargo bay one anymore.”
She
shuddered and her eyes darted around sick bay before settling on him again.
“The
crew …” Her hoarse voice trailed off.
“They
are back at their duty stations for now. We have to come up with a good plan, Captain and
fast. But nobody has been hurt. Yet.”
“They
all saw … saw me.”
“Yes.
But they didn’t look. Your wellbeing was all that were on their mind. You are not as
humiliated as that bastard thinks you are. You have a loyal crew, Kathryn. Having seen
your naked body has not altered that. If anything, attacking you in any way, G’rahg
has made the crew even more determined to get him and his gang off Voyager. You have
nothing to worry about regarding the crew.”
She looked
into his sincere eyes and unshed tears in her own startled him a little. “Shh …
don’t cry. I am here for you as long as I am not summoned by you-know-who.”
She lifted
a hand, searching unsteadily in the air. He took it in his much bigger hand and pressed
his lips on it. “Kathryn”, he whispered against her skin. “Don’t let
this stop that brilliant mind of yours or your determination to achieve your goal. I will
not go back on my promises to you if you’ll stick to your word. I know you were hurt
and felt humiliated. And I hate that alien for doing what he did – but it changes
nothing. You are still the Captain of this ship and I am still your First Officer. We are
responsible for this crew and they will look to us for guidance and support.”
She nodded
and the tears spilled over on to her pale cheeks. “I know, Chakotay. I just feel so
… skinless. I feel like I have been exposed down to the core of what is …
me.”
He nodded.
“I
can understand that. But remember your crew, Kathryn. Did you notice how many hands
reached out to you when we left cargo bay one? They needed to touch you, to show you how
much they care about you and how little they care about what he tried to do.”
She
frowned a little. “Yes, yes I did feel that”, she said, surprised, her voice a
little stronger. “Some of them touched my hair.”
“There,
you see? They love you, Kathryn. Almost as much as … “ He went silent for a
while. “Almost as much as I do”, he finished softly.
Her eyes
widened. Of course she had suspected this but to actually hear it was overwhelming.
“Oh
Chakotay …” She reached for him and pulled him closer. “Oh my god
…”
He put his
arms around her, held her close to his chest. “Rest a while, Kathryn. We need you to
get us out of this mess and all this crew needs to help them accomplish that, is
you.”
She smiled
wearily through the tears.
“I
will be fine, Chakotay. I will think of something. I always do, don’t I?”
He smiled
too. “You do. You do, my darling.”
Two days
later they got the order to assume the course to T’ruhga Prime. This was what the
senior staff had been waiting for. Now was the time to move, to set their plans in action.
They had
had three things working to their advantage.
The
T’ruhgans didn’t know how well the Captain had recuperated from her ordeal in
cargo bay one, they were unaware of the fierce loyalty of her crew towards her and they
had underestimated the senior staff’s tactical skills as well as their ability to
fight as dirty as it was possible if it was necessary.
Whenever
G’rahg was near Janeway she would play the vulnerable, humiliated woman he expected
her to be and keep her eyes to the floor. He smirked about having her pegged down from the
start as a weak female and was obviously fooled by her performance.
Chakotay
had not been entirely pleased about Janeway’s plan how to cease control of Voyager.
He thought her plan to dangerous and controversial and that it presented to high a risk.
However, she was the Captain and he couldn’t argue with the plan’s brilliant
simplicity and effectiveness should it be performed as intended.
It did expose Janeway to danger, though, but
as she so firmly pointed out. Danger was the name of the game in the Delta Quadrant.
Four days
later Captain Janeway was sitting in her ready room reading routine reports when she was
summoned to the bridge by Chakotay. His choice of words revealing only to her and the rest
of the senior staff that this was it, the moment of truth was here.
“Captain
Kathryn Janeway to the bridge.”
He never
used her first name on the communication system otherwise. Foolproof.
She
stepped onto the bridge only to stop dead in her tracks.
G’rahg
was there, sitting in her command chair. As she anticipated he was also the only alien on
the bridge.
“Commander”,
she gasped and tried her best to look really afraid. It wasn’t as hard as she’d
like it to be. “What is he doing here? You promised me you would not page me if he
… if he …”
“So
this is again the fearless Captain Janeway when you take a good look at her”,
G’rahg mocked. “Dear Captain Janeway, what are you afraid of? There is nothing
of you we haven’t seen yet?”
Janeway
blushed involuntarily, of anger really, but if this damn alien thought it was of fear, so
much better. “I – I –I am not afraid of you, G’rahg”, she
stuttered.
“Oh
and who do you think you are fooling, Captain?” he grinned taunting her. “All I
have to do is snap my fingers and you’ll start running.”
She
trembled and took two steps back. If her crew had not been in on her act, they would have
been convinced of her apparent fear. But there was no way in hell she would yield to this
bastard other than in his dreams.
“Chakotay
…”, she whispered. Another cue.
“Captain,
you don’t need to be here, really. Why don’t you retire to your ready room and
…”
Before he
had a chance to finish his sentence, G’rahg rose from the command chair he was
occupying. “I will escort the lovely Captain to her room. I am sure I can set her
mind at ease about my intentions.”
He grabbed
her right arm and hauled her behind him to her ready room.
As soon as
the doors shut behind them everybody left on the bridge jumped into action.
Harry and
Tuvok had prepared as much as they could without causing suspicion among the aliens. They
had carefully collected transport signatures on all the fifty-six intruders on Voyager to
be able to quickly and easily determine their location.
They now
let the computer silently scan for them all and while the Captain stalled G’rahg in
her ready room they worked closed to frantic to list the aliens one after another.
Chakotay
knew that Janeway would have to use all her diplomatic skills as well as some down right
acting to not cause him to catch on to their plan to get him off the bridge and keep his
mind off the fact that he had not summoned any of his guards to take his place.
He bent
down and took out the six phasers Harry had manage to smuggle on to the bridge earlier and
hide under Chakotay’s chair. He started to quickly hand them out to the others.
G’rahg
pulled Janeway closer to him. His face was inches from her and his breath fanned over her.
She forced herself to not feel nauseated and focused on looking terrified.
“I
think we should continue where we left off, Captain”, he smiled, his intentions
clear. “I am used to more sturdy females than you, but your frail, white body has its
own appeal.”
“No,
no, please. Don’t …”, she croaked and tried to pull away. This was not hard
to look scared about even if her first thought had been to kick him where it hurts the
most.
“Oh
but I will, my sweet.” He started tugging at her uniform. She put up a formidable
fight, it had to look real and she sure didn’t want to be exposed to this bastard one
more time. She hoped her senior staff worked fast out there on the bridge.
Her
uniform was torn to shreds and she was getting bruised from him handling her much smaller
body like a rag doll in his attempts to strip of her clothes. She started to use her nails
and managed to scratch his left cheek severely. His response was to backhand her face and
almost render her unconscious. She felt her tunic being torn away and now her fear was far
from being an act. She had not called out for help yet, had saved that option if things
would get seriously out of hand. She had no idea how much time had passed but was afraid
that she could not hold him off much longer.
He tugged
at her trousers, scratched her skin beneath them with his rough hands. Janeway kicked and
had to bit down hard on her lip not to scream for Chakotay.
“You
are like a wild be’gratha from my home world, my dear”, G’rahg stated, breathing hard as he fought to
get rid of her underwear, the only things remaining between him and his goal. “You
are so much prettier, though. Your hair of fire will please my eyes for a long time, I
think.”
He pulled
her closer to him, again one hand in her hair and one around her waist. His mouth
descended on her neck where he bit down hard. Now she could not keep it up anymore. She
cried out, a loud, heartbreaking scream that made the alien’s hands grasp more tight
and his teeth sink into her neck even harder, drawing blood.
This time
when she screamed again, even louder, it was in the form of a name.
The senior
staff looked triumphantly at each other. They had accomplished the biggest portion of
their plans and now all they had to do was get to the ready room and …
The
bloodcurdling scream from the ready room made them freeze for about a nanosecond.
“Kathryn!”
Chakotay was the first to react. He grabbed his phaser and ran to the door. The override
only took seconds and he and Tuvok launched into the ready room simultaneously.
G’rahg
knew of nothing but the pleasure of the screaming woman in his power until two phasers
were pressed into his neck where he lied on top of Janeway, pressing her into the floor
beneath them.
“Get
off her!” Chakotay yanked him up and the large alien was hauled onto the bridge by
the threat of Tuvok’s phaser.
“Kathryn,
are you all right?” Chakotay embraced the half naked woman. “You are
bleeding.”
“He
bit me”, she answered and her voice was huskier than normal. “I am fine.
Now.” She got up from the floor with his help. “I need another uniform. How are
things on the bridge, Commander? Everything going according to our plan?”
Chakotay
looked over his shoulder at her as he replicated a new uniform for her. “Yes,
Captain. All the aliens except G’rahg are gone.”
She smiled
with trembling lips and put on her uniform. “Good. Now it is time to deal with
him.”
She strode
on to the bridge, not caring that the deep wound on the side of her neck was bleeding
through her clothes. She marched right up to G’rahg and since he was at the the
command level, the lower part of the bridge, she was tall enough to stare right into his
eyes.
“You
will pay for this, Captain Janeway”, he said threateningly. “My men won’t
be so lenient with your crew when they hear about this.”
“Men?
What men?” Janeway asked him in mock surprise. “Commander Chakotay, do you know
of any alien men aboard Voyager?”
“No,
Captain. Sensors show that this one is here alone.” Chakotay looked equally curious.
“Oh
my … what shall we make of that, Mr Alien”, she said and shook her head. “Computer, localise alien intruders.”
“One
alien intruder is on the bridge.”
G’rahg’s
eyes widened and then narrowed. “It is a trick!”
“You
wish”, Janeway stated vehemently. “Harry, on screen.”
G’rahg
automatically looked at the large view screen. The sight that met him virtually drove him
to his knees. The bodies of his men was aimlessly floating around in space between their
ship, who operated only with a skeletal crew, and Voyager.
“You
bitch!” he moaned. “Damn you!”
“As
you see, they got to keep their clothes”, Janeway pointed out reassuringly.
“Harry, I think Mr G’rahg would like to join his men now. He seemed eager to do
so just a minute ago, anyway. Energise.”
The huge
alien’s screams disappeared along with him in the tingling blue light of the
transporter.
Janeway
turned to Chakotay and with a gasp of pain. As she had completed her task she gave in to
her pain and grabbed his left arm to stay on her feet. “You better get me to sick
bay. But don’t let the Doctor know it was my idea.” With those words she slumped
against him and when he looked down he could see a puddle of blood forming on the carpet
at her feet.
Kathryn
Janeway was sitting in her favourite position on the couch in her quarters gazing at the
stars passing by at warp nine speed. She had given the order from sick bay to go to warp
nine, wanting to get out of T’ruhgan space as quickly as possible.
It had
been yesterday. She was still trying to grasp the horrendous fact that they had beamed all
the aliens into space. It was the equivalent of throwing them all out the airlock.
They had
debated this for hours. Was it murder? In a way. Still, it would have been the same result
if they had blown up the alien ship with a photon torpedo.
The
technology available to these aliens had been overpowering. They had walked through level
ten force fields like they didn’t exist. And the only way Voyager could prevent a new
attack was to make a stand like this. What better message to the T’ruhgans then to
show them what happened to those who tried to wipe out the Voyager crew, which had been
the intruder’s original intention before she had convinced them that Voyager was
practically inoperable without its crew.
She had no
proof that their out of character course of action would have the desired affect on the
T’ruhgans, but each light year they put between Voyager and them, the better the
odds.
G’rahg’s
ship had not put up a fight at all. It had powered up it’s engines and had been gone
within minutes after scanning Voyager twice. No doubt seeing the dead bodies floating
freely in space had convinced them as it had G’rahg.
She sighed
and reached for her coffee. She was relieved of duty for another twenty-four hours. The
Doctor had healed the wound from G’rahg’s teeth and all her bruises but she was
still a bit sore and also prone to tremble on and off for no apparent reason.
The door
chime rang. The sound shouldn’t have been enough to make her skin crawl, but it did.
“Come
in.”
Of course.
Chakotay. She smiled at him and waved him over to her couch.
“Take
a seat, Chakotay. Are you off duty, finally? Thank you for covering for me.”
“My
pleasure, Kathryn. Harry has the Gamma shift under control now. How are you feeling?”
Chakotay sat down next to her.
“I am
fine.”
“Why
I bother to ask I don’t know. You are always fine, even if you are standing on the
bridge in a puddle of your own blood, like yesterday. And that after being just seconds
away of being raped.”
Her eyes
widened in shock at his blunt, cruel words. Didn’t he understand that it took all of
her command training, and then, some to stay calm and focused, to not fall apart right in
front of him? Tears rose to her eyes and she started to shiver again.
“You
bastard …”, she whispered. “Damn you.”
He reached
out and pulled her close to him. “That’s it. You can’t keep this bottled
up, it isn’t healthy. You have been so good at acting like it was just another day at
the office that you are hurting yourself. But you can’t fool me, Kathryn. Tuvok and I
saw how close it came. Why didn’t you scream earlier? It was never meant to go that
far in there! You are so stubborn, you are driving me crazy, Kathryn!” He cradled her
in his arms and soothed her quivering body with slow strokes on her back.
“He
– he was all over me, his hands were hurting me … he wanted me to feel the pain,
you know”, she sobbed. “I knew you all needed as much time as possible and I
though I could endure it. But when he … when he …” She cried softly against
his neck, throwing her arms around him.
“He
bit you”, Chakotay filled in, trying to keep the fury over the pain and fear she had
had to endure out of his voice.
“Yes.
That’s when I first realised that I might not be able to fight him off. That I might
have to face the rape he intended to save my crew and the ship.” Her body was
pressing at his. She wanted to absorb his strength to replace where hers was missing.
“He made awful, awful noises and called me even worse names …”
“I am
so sorry, darling”, Chakotay whispered, kissing her hair. “You were never
supposed to let yourself get harmed. Nobody on this ship would ever let you make such a
sacrifice if they could help it.”
“Don’t
you think I don’t know that? That is why I couldn’t scream even if I wanted to
more than anything. I wanted to scream for you so bad, Chakotay, you’ll never
know.”
“Oh,
I know. You bit both your tongue and lips to stop it, don’t think I didn’t see
it.” He caressed her where ever his hands could reach. “Your face was bruised
and your lip bleeding, blood all over your teeth and your poor neck. And you did scream
for me – in the end.”
“I
did? Yes, of course I did.” She sighed. “It was awful.”
She clung
to him, refused to let him pull back even when he thought she couldn’t breath
properly being so closely pressed against him.
“Chakotay.
Would you do something for me?”
“Anything.
You know that, Kathryn.”
“Make
love to me?”
He must
have heard her wrong. Her voice had been not more than a whisper and there was no way she
could have said what he thought she said.
“Make
love to me, Chakotay. Or don’t you want to?”
“Oh
darling, you know how much I love you, how I adore you. But you are not well and that
bastard practically molested you twice in less than a week. You can’t possibly
…”
“It
is part of why I want you to. He had his eyes all over me, grabbing me, humiliating me. I
need your hands to be the last hands that touch me. I know you love me and deep inside you
know how I feel. Ever since New Earth I have been fighting against my truest feelings. You
must have felt the love I feel for you – otherwise how could you have not moved
on?”
He put his
hand under her chin and tipped her head back. “Are you serious, Kathryn? If you are
not, you might be damaging yourself, your very soul. You need time to heal.”
“I
need you. You are my healer. You always have been. I need your hands on my body to
erase the bad memories with good ones, new loving ones. I can’t promise I won’t
cry, or not be scared, but I need your love, my darling.”
Her term
of endearment was all it took. He bent down and pressed his mouth on hers. Her lips
trembled beneath his, soft and yielding to his caress. He let his tongue brush against her
lips tentatively, afraid of scaring her.
Her arms
folded even tighter around his neck, one of her hands straying into his short cut hair.
Chakotay
allowed his mouth to wander along her cheeks, her chin, follower her jaw line down to her
neck. She flinched and gasped in sudden fear but when he didn’t sink his teeth in
her, merely soothed her velvet skin with open mouth kisses, she relaxed against him,
moaning softly.
“You
are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, Kathryn”, he breathed against her
moist skin. “Your hair is like fire in the night, your eyes can be so icy blue when
you are upset or angry and then so calm and dreamy blue when you look at me when we share
our evening meals. I have never been so mesmerised by a woman in my entire life. You drive
me crazy either way, darling.”
She smiled
above his head and shuddered from his caresses. His hands never stopped the slow, slow
movements on her back, her shoulders and down to her buttocks. She was practically lying
on top of him now, holding on for dear life.
“You
obviously haven’t thought about what you do to me, Commander”, she teased
with her crooked smile in place. “You flash those dimples of yours and that makes my
knees give in. You tower over me, using your height to your advantage weather we just ride
the turbo lift or are having arguments in my ready room and that makes me want to either
smack you or let you carry me to the nearest Jeffrey’s tube …”
He raised
his head again and kissed her. This time his tongue invaded her mouth with so much
passion, she had to moan. Fire engulfed her, consumed her and all she could do was kiss
him back the same way.
“Can
I undress you, darling?” he asked gently against her mouth and sat up with her
kneeling between his legs.
‘Bless
him for asking’, she thought and nodded. He carefully pulled her large sweatshirt
over her head and gasped at the fact that she wasn’t wearing a bra. Her breasts were
beautiful, like the rest of her, not very big and with soft, pink nipples that he simply
couldn’t resist touching.
Kathryn
arched against his hands and moaned again.
“Oh,
that feels wonderful, Chakotay! Don’t stop”, she begged.
He
didn’t stop, instead he bent forward with his hands moving to her back to support her
and kissed the pebbling nipples tenderly. When that increased her fire he started sucking
gently at first and then more eagerly. Her skin was like honey, with a sweet taste to it
that must be all her own. He pushed her hard toward his mouth, opened his mouth as much as
possible to devour her. How would he ever be able to let her go?
Kathryn
was overcome with desire for him. She wanted to give him the same pleasure but felt a bit
shy about it. Five years is a long time and she had not felt this passionate with Mark.
That had been another kind of love, entirely.
She pushed
him back a little and pulled at his uniform. He understood and quickly got rid of his
jacket and tunic. The T-shirt beneath was discarded just as easily.
She just
stared at him. He was so beautiful. His tanned, smooth body was like a magnet, drawing her
hands and lips closer and closer until she was caressing him and treating his nipples the
same way he had done to her. It was now his turn to moan and arch into her.
“Kathryn,
Kathryn, what are you doing to me?” he asked rhetorically, hugging her closer,
pressing her to him.
The rest
of their clothes came off in a way neither of them had any clue about. He pushed her back
to the opposite end of the couch, landing her on her back. For a couple of seconds her
eyes darkened with fear when she gazed up at him, but the sight of him reassured her
quickly, made her reach for him. He avoided her hands and kissed her stomach, let his lips
travel her shivering abdomen.
“Chakotay”,
she whispered, fumbling for him.
“Tell
me what you like, Kathryn”, he urged her. “Tell me what feels good.”
“Everything
you do feels good.”
“No,
be specific. I want this to be wonderful for you. Tell me what you like me to do.”
She
blushed. Nobody had ever asked her to be specific about this before. She didn’t know
what to say. What did she want?
“I
want you to touch me. You know. There.” She pointed down between her thighs,
awkwardly.
“With
what? My hands and fingers? My mouth? And how do you want it? Fast, slow, hard?” His
voice was a bit out of breath from his own passion but she could hear the teasing in it as
well. She clenched her teeth.
“Chakotay
… You devil! I want you to touch my … you know, there … with your fingers,
slowly, very slowly.”
His right
hand traced the inside of her thighs and then he reached her damp auburn curls between
them.
‘Oh’,
she thought, ‘I was so apparently ready for him, it is embarrassing.’
His
fingers easily gained access to her wet folds, caress them slowly, almost too slow, and
then found the centre for her pleasure; the little bundle of nerves that made her cry out
his name and raise her hips to meet him.
He
steadied her hips with his other hand and kept caressing her relentlessly. She was loosing
her orientation of what was up and down in the room and could only take in short gasps of
air. This was agony! Sweet agony …
“Go
… go inside … please …”, she managed to get out between moans.
He
complied and added first one and then two fingers inside her quivering body. Her silky
muscles clenched at his hands, she was very small and it had been a long time. All it took
was three or four thrust of his loving hand before she cried out again, convulsing against
him, grasping for him.
“Ah
… oh, yes … yes … Chakotay!” she cried before her body became rigid
and then she slumped back on the couch, almost unconscious. Her eyes was closed and her
breath ragged. He wasn’t worried though, he knew how intense it had been for her.
Her eyes
opened and her crooked smile appeared.
“Commander,
if I had known …”
He
laughed. That was a lovely compliment but they were far from finished. He kissed her with
passion and was rewarded with a gasp of surprise from her when she found her strength
returning. Her hands caressed him with more skill than she would credit herself for but
this time was for her, mostly, he decided, so he pulled her hands above her head and held
them there.
Careful
not to scare her he restrained her with one soft hand while he guided his erection between
her thighs with the other.
She was
very wet, which made it easier, but still she was a very small woman and he a very large
man. Her folds let him through but then her muscles clenched in fear and he waited
patiently, kissing her the entire time to reassure her.
“Relax,
darling”, he said against her mouth. “We have all the time in the world. Just
don’t try to hard. Relax.”
“I am
sorry”, Kathryn replied. “I don’t know … I …”
“Shh.”
He kept kissing her and before she knew it he was buried inside her, all the way. He
stayed there, motionless for a while before he started to thrust slowly.
The
tension that was still there was pure pleasure. His erection was like fire inside her and
to her surprise she knew it wouldn’t take long before she would come again.
Chakotay
could feel her passion rising again. She mumbled incoherent words underneath him, shivered
all over and her legs slowly lifted to hug his hips. His thrusts were more insistent and
he was sweating all over her by now. He grabbed her left thigh and held it higher, making
place for a deeper penetration, still careful not to hurt her.
Kathryn’s
fingers buried themselves in the skin of his back. She was being driven on by a heat wave
inside her.
The abyss
that had opened up within her soul, when G’rahg had exposed her to her entire crew
and then almost raped her in her ready room, now closed or maybe Chakotay’s love
filled it to the rim? She didn’t know and she didn’t care. All she could think
of was his body moving with hers in this ancient dance and the love that made it so
wonderful.
Her sudden
scream startled him for a second before he realised that it was the sound of the woman he
loved more than life itself, coming in his arms again. Her convulsing body sent him over
the edge, took his breath away and he buried his face in her damp, dishevelled hair,
calling to his gods and to her, when he felt himself follow her.
“Oh
my god”, she whispered and held on to him. “I can’t believe it … This
was incredible.”
“What
was, darling?” he asked and turned them on their sides so not to crush her.
“To
be blunt, I have never come like that in my entire life. And twice? Unheard of.”
“So
you tell me I am doing okay, Captain?”
“Very
okay indeed.”
“Thank
you.”
“No,
thank you.”
Chakotay
stood up on shaky legs and lifted her up in his arms. He carried her into her bedroom and
put her down next to the bed.
“Do
you want me to stay?” he asked seriously.
“You
are kidding, right? Of course I do. Were you planning on going somewhere?”
“I
don’t want you to think I am assuming to much. You are a private person, Kathryn.
I’d love to stay though.”
“Good.
Then I don’t have to pull rank.”
“You
would have?” His eyebrows crinkled his tattoo.
“Damn
sure.”
“Okay.
Good that I agree, then.”
“As I
already said, Commander, you are very okay, very good in fact.”
He laughed
and pulled back the blankets. She climbed in and
he followed, spooning behind her. His right arm settled safely around her waist and she
knew she would be able to sleep.