Disclaimer; you know how it is. Paramount owns everything Star Trek, no need to sue me since I won't be making any money from this, alas. I however thought of this particular story, so if you intend to use it, please leave the headers and so on intact. :-)

PG-13 - or there about...

Protecting him

© GB

She looked around her ready room.

What had that unnerving sound been? It had been a quiet, irritating humming, like a distant bumble-bee for days and now when it was gone, she couldn’t quite say when it had disappeared. She was so used to all the normal sounds of Voyager, this had definitely not been one of them. It had been too close, like a presence in the room. Shrugging off her unusual burst of non-scientific imagination, she kept reading.

Her door chimed.

“Come in.”

Ensign Harry Kim entered with a stack of PADDs in his hands.

“All the reports you asked for, Captain”, he smiled briefly.

“Hmm, thanks, ensign”, she murmured. Five more reports to consider before she could call it quits. And she had already worked who hours over her scheduled shift. Ten hours of reading only interrupted once; she had had to help B’Elanna find a malfunction that had eluded the entire engineering crew. Crawling through endless Jeffrey’s tubes checking circuits for two hours could be too much for anybody.

“Fine, Mr Kim – dismissed.”

He hesitated and nervously rubbed his hands on his uniform.

“Yes?” she said inquiringly. “Was there something else?”

“Permission to speak freely, Captain?”

She nodded, frowning a little.

This seemed to make Harry Kim even more jittery so she tried smiling reassuringly instead.

He returned the smile and cleared his throat.

“A few of us … I mean Tom, B’Elanna and I …” His eyes avoided hers. “Ah … we were talking … well, you know how friends talk about friends?”

Janeway was now confused but intrigued by this stuttering, nervous explanation.

“Mr Kim! For heaven’s sake get to the point!” she said impatiently and leaned forward in her chair putting her elbows on her desk.

He blushed and continued.

“We have been getting more and more worried lately, about the Commander. He is not … Well, he is not acting like himself and since he is the one to turn to about staff issues … We didn’t know … We thought it would be best  to …”

He lost his nerve and looked helplessly at her.

“Pull up a chair, Ensign, and tell me all about this. You acted correctly to come to me.”

Janeway’s mind raced. Chakotay – not himself? It must have become pretty obvious for Paris and B’Elanna to show such concern that they made poor Harry approach her.

She had been working opposite shifts from Chakotay for at least the last ten days. Suddenly realising that it was his doing, being in charge of the duty-roster, she pales a little.

“He keeps to himself, eats alone, mostly in his quarters, never even comes to Sandrine’s. He only talks about ship’s business, never about anything personal. He never jokes anymore. He is perfectly polite, in total control, but that’s it. The crew is starting to notice. There are rumours going on, Captain.”

Harry seemed relieved to have said his peace.

Janeway rubbed her forehead.

“How long has this been going on?” she asked.

“We traced it back about two weeks, it was hard to say, it started with little things.”

“All right, Ensign. I will deal with this. Dismissed.”

Harry rose and headed for the door.

Before he reached it she spoke again.

“Harry?”

He turned around.

She smiled. “Thank you. And thank Tom and B’Elanna for me. You are good friends to the Commander.”

“We care about him, Captain. And about you.” After this bold statement Harry blushed again and hurried out the door onto the bridge.

Janeway inhaled deeply and slowly exhaled as to gain strength.

“Computer, locate Commander Chakotay.”

“Commander Chakotay is in his quarters.”

“What is Commander Chakotay’s status?”

“Commander Chakotay is awake.”

She logged on to the duty-roster files and changed his shifts, keeping him off duty fo rthe next twenty-four hours. She then paged Tuvok and informed him of the shift changes. He took it in his usual stride.

 ***

Outside Chakotay’s quarters she hesitated and then decided to change her clothes first. She didn’t want to approach him as his captain, uniform and all.

In her quarters she took a quick sonic shower and slipped into a blue dress. She didn’t bother with shoes, which made her boot weary feet very happy.

“Computer, is Commander Chakotay still in his quarters?”

“Affirmative.”

She stepped out into the corridor and walked in her usual stride to his door. Taking a deep breath she pressed the door chime.

Seconds passed and he didn’t answer. She tried again and then a third time. Still nothing.

“Computer, override Commander Chakotay’s door lock, code Janeway Beta 146.”

The door opened and she tentatively walked into the dark room.

“Commander”, she called out loud.

Only silence met her and now she was really worried.

“Computer, lights on fifty percent.”

Chakotay’s quarters was lit up and she gasped in chock.

His furniture were all turned over, knocked around. Several objects, like books and ornaments were ripped apart and broken. Some liquid had run along one of the walls, a mug laid shattered on the floor beneath it.

“Chakotay!” she yelled and made her way around the disaster area that was his living room. “Chakotay, answer me. That is an order, Commander!”

She couldn’t see him among the tossed furniture and headed for his bedroom.

The sight of his shivering form on the bed, lying curled up, among wrinkled sheets, only dressed in his underwear, made her heart skip more than one beat.

“Oh, Chakotay”, she breathed, throwing herself agonisingly hard on her knees next to the bed.

She touched his bare shoulder and that sent even more violent shivers through his body.

Janeway leaned over him and touched his face, trying to get at look at it.

This made him move, fast as lightning, grasping at her left arm, pulling her across the bed. She moaned at the pain he inflicted and tried to free herself but his grip was strong and his was a large man.

“Go away, Captain”, he whispered gutturally.

“Then let me go”, she said, trying to remain calm, pulling back hard. His grip didn’t budge.

“Commander, let go of my arm.”

His other arm snaked out and got another painful grip of her hair and now he was pulling her even closer.

This was getting totally out of control, she though and with her free hand, Janeway slapped her comm badge.

“Janeway to sickbay!”

“Doctor here.”

What a relief to hear his strict voice!

“Emergency medical site to site transport of Commander Chakotay and myself to sickbay … now!”

Chakotay’s grip on her had pulled her across him and his hot breath was on her neck. Her scalp hurt and her shoulder was in danger of dislocating. She could have transported only Chakotay to sickbay and thus freed herself from his painful grip, but then he would have been exposed without her being ether to explain. What ever there was to explain …

The rematerialised on the floor in sickbay in front of the Doctor.

Chakotay seemed oblivious of the surroundings, he was still pulling her closer, desperate and agitated.

“Captain? What has happened?”

The Doctor kneeled beside them, his medical tricorder humming over them both. “Shall I alert security?”

“No! Just help me to get loose.”

With combined efforts they got her arm free but Chakotay’s hold on her hair was too strong.

“We can always cut it, I suppose”, the Doctor suggested dryly.

The Janeway death glare silenced him.

“I have no other solution then to sedate him”, he then said.

She nodded and one hypospray later she was free.

Aching all over she helped the Doctor put Chakotay on a biobed. He was pale and his skin damp all over.

Janeway informed the Doctor about what Harry Kim had told her, about the thrashed quarters and Chakotay’s behaviour when she approached him.

The Doctor had done several readings during her explanation and now he was frowning.

“He has a an unusual high energy level in his cerebral cortex in general. All his senses are at peak efficiency and then some.”

“And this means?” she quipped.

“He is experiencing every stimuli much more intense. Every sensation, pain, emotion … you name it …” The Doctor’s voice trailed off.

“What caused this condition?”

 “I don’t know yet. I will have to run more tests, Captain, and I have to check the ships database for reference.”

Janeway sighed and then nodded. She leaned over Chakotay’s face and touch his forehead carefully. Even though he was under a strong sedative, he flinched a little.

“Oh, I am sorry, Chakotay”, she whispered to him, her lips close to his ear.

“May I treat your arm now, Captain?” the Doctor asked.

“My arm?” She looked down on her left arm where Chakotay’s fingers had left huge bruises. “Oh, all right, if you can be quick about it. I want you to concentrate on the Commander.”

The Doctor started to say something but another glare from Janeway made him jump and quickly grab the dermal regenerator. In minutes her bruises were gone.

“How about your head, Captain?”

“Leave it.”

He turned to the biobed without further protests and continued working on Chakotay.

“I’ll leave you to it, then”, she said, jumping off the biobed she had been sitting on. “I want to be notified as soon as he wakes up or you find something, anything, that might have caused this.”

“Aye, Captain.”

She left sickbay, knowing what she must to.

“Janeway to Paris.”

“Uh … Paris here …” A sleepy voice. She had waken him.

“Meet me outside Commander Chakotay’s quarters. Bring B’Elanna and Harry.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“Good, Janeway out.”

 ***

Janeway got up from the floor and stretched her aching back. She wan’t used to this kind of work, but now Chakotay’s quarters were pretty much back to normal.

B’Elanna, Tom and Harry had worked hard putting things back in the living area and she had taken care of his bedroom. She had turned down any help from the others even though her refusal had generated strange looks between them. But she couldn’t let anyone else into the privacy of his bedroom, to see the sweat soaked sheets in his tousled bed.

She had tidied up everything now but could still vividly picture him there, tagging at her, violently pulling her towards him, pleading with her to leave.

They quietly left his quarters and Janeway thanked them, suddenly very tired.

“I really appreciate your help and your … your ..”

She choked on her words and had to steady herself against the wall in the corridor.

“Captain, are you all right?” Tom asked, worried.

He tentatively put his arm around her shoulders as she paled and shivered a little. Nodding at B’Elanna and Harry to help him, he pulled her small form closer, amaze to notice how fragile she felt. She produced such a strong image of the ever stern and capable captain, he’d never realised how petit she actually was.

“You need to see the Doc”, he suggested, knowing what her answer would be.

“What? Oh, no … I’m fine, Tome” Her voice said differently. She was worried sick about Chakotay, had paged the Doctor several times during their efforts to straighten out his quarters and he had not regained consciousness yet. The Doctor, getting more and more irritated with her ‘constant interruptions of his work’, wanted the Commander to wake up in his own pace.

“At least let us help you to your quarters, Captain”, Tom continued firmly.

She tired shaking her head but her vision was blurred with unshed tears and she was shivering. Her knees were giving in no matter how she tried to cling to the wall.

Before she could object, Tom lifted her up in his arms and carried her to her door, her head against his shoulder.

“B’Elanna”, he said, nodding at the door lock. B’Elanna didn’t disappoint him. She overrode the door lock within fifteen seconds and they all entered.

Tom put Janeway down on the couch. When he tried to get up she clung to him for a couple of confused seconds and then slumped back against the cushions.

B’Elanna replicated both a bowl of chicken soup and a cup of strong, black coffee.

Even as she handed Janeway the cup, the aroma seemed to restore her strength to some degree.

“Thanks, B’Elanna”, she said. “This was what I needed! The soup too, I guess. I don’t think I had time for lunch today.”

“Probably because I let you go crawling though all those Jeffrey’s tubes instead of doing it myself, Captain”, B’Elanna said ruefully.

“All in a days work”, Janeway answered lightly, smiling at the younger woman.

“How are you feeling now?” Harry asked.

“Much better, Harry.” I will page the Doctor one final time before I go to bed. If I dare to, that is. He almost bit my head off last time I did, oddly enough.”

The other smiled knowingly, very relieved to see their captain back to almost her usual composed self. The trembling woman in tears in the corridor had them all concerned. She was probably still in there, though, hiding behind those piercing blue eyes.

Janeway dismissed them quite amicably and then paged the Doctor. There were no change in Chakotay’s condition. The sedative he had received was long gone from his system but he was still unconscious.

Janeway thanked the Doctor and repeated her order that he’d notify her immediately if any change occurred.

She set the wakeup call thirty minutes prior to the usual hour. She wanted to have plenty of time to stop by sickbay in the morning.

 ***

“Captain, good! I was just going to page you. Seems like the Commander has decided to join the land of the living.”

The Doctor smiled and greeted her in his usual dry manner.

Janeway’s heart leaped and she hurried to Chakotay’s biobed.

He was frowning and obviously trying to open his eyes.

“Chakotay”, she said in a low voice, almost a whisper.

“Ka … Kathryn?” His voice was thick and hoarse, his left hand fumbled in mid-air, searching for something. For her?

“I’m here”, she answered and carefully took his hand between both of hers.

He forced his eyes open and she moved with in his sight.

“What happened?” he asked.

“You are ill, Chakotay. You have probably been ill for a while and nobody understood until yesterday.”

“I have managed to stabilise the commander’s neural patterns but I don’t know if the remission is permanent. You will need to stay here a couple of days for observations, Commander” the Doctor said, standing on the other side of the biobed.

Chakotay looked like he had a hundred questions but no energy left to ask them.

“Shhh … “, Janeway hushed. “We can explain everything later. Just rest.”

His hand got restless between hers.

“I’ll be here for a while. I’m not due on the bridge in another thirty minutes.”

His hand fell to rest and the Doctor pulled up a chair for her.

 ***

After six hours on the bridge she was paged by the Doctor.

“Janeway here.”

“I think you should come to sickbay, Captain”,  the Doctor stated firmly. “The Commander is showing new signs of pathological neural distress.”

“On my way, Janeway out.” She jumped up, running to the turbo lift, unable to conceal her worry. “You have the bridge, Mr Tuvok.”

 ***

In sickbay she was met by laboured breathing and a Commander in danger of being put in restraints.

“Captain, over here!” The Doctor gratefully waved her to Chakotay’s biobed. “He is working himself up to a frenzy, asking for you, or should I say, demanding you.

Janeway approached the biobed with caution. Demanding her?

“Kathryn! Why isn’t she here? What happened to her? Did we leave her behind? We have to go back for her!! Listen to me!”

The feverish voice was full of pain and close to panic.

“I’m here Chakotay”, she reassured him putting her right hand on his damp chest, over his pounding heart. “I was never gone, just on the bridge.”

“Kath … Kathryn!” he gasped, reaching for her, pulling her close. “I was afraid you were there, all alone. I thought we’d left you.” He held her, trembled beneath her. She felt him press kisses on her hair and caress her back.

“I’m fine, Chakotay. Nobody left me anywhere. It was just a dream, my friend.”

She tried to calm him but he was lost in his anxiety and couldn’t release her yet.

“A sedative, Captain …?” the Doctor began.

“No. Not yet”, she ordered. “Give him some time to realise that I am real.”

She focused on the man who now successfully had managed to pull all of her on top of himself. He held her firmly without actually hurting her, one arm around her waist and one around her right shoulder, his hand folded around the back of her head.

“I am here, Chakotay”, she said again. “Can you hear me?”

His breathing was ragged and he was shivering.

“Kathryn, I thought you were still there. Alone in that shelter. And the storms … nobody to protect you from those storms …”

“Where do you mean?” She was puzzled.

“On New Earth. I thought you were left behind when Tuvok came back. I tried to find you on the ship, but nobody knew where you were.”

New Earth! He was thinking of, or reliving, something that happened years ago! And he was frantic about it …

“That was a long time ago. I am here, you are here. Surely you know that”, she told him.

“You are here”, he echoed and kissed her hair again. “Oh Kathryn, what is happening to me?”

She didn’t know what to say to him. She was saved from trying by the sudden voice behind her.

“Doc, how is the Commander? B’Elanna, Harry and I … oh, hello, Captain. You’ve made yourself comfortable, I see.”

‘Tom Paris’, she sighed in her mind. If she could have freed herself enough to give him her death glare, she would have.

“Mr Paris”, she hissed, “not one more word. Not one.”

“Of course not, Captain”, he said happily. “Is the Commander okay? Are you okay?”

She hid her face at Chakotay’s neck. “We are both fine. Dismissed!”

“I’m sorry, Captain, but I am on sickbay duty for six hours now.”

She groaned.

Paris bend down next to her and pushed her hair back out of her face, tucking it behind her ear in a casual way that made her gasp. He grinned at her.

“Need help to get off?”

“Mr Paris!!!” Janeway’s eyes and cheeks burned at him, nailing him to the floor.

“Whoops, bad choice of words. I’ll be in the Doctor’s office until I’m needed.”

He wisely left and so did the Doctor.

Chakotay had relaxed some and Janeway hoped that the fact that he didn’t need sedatives to do so were signs of improvement.

He turned on his side and let her body slide down beside him.

“Kathryn”, he mumbled and kissed her forehead. She saw his pale, tormented features, the tears that stained his cheeks, the dark circles under his eyes.

“Feeling better now?” she asked and put a hand on his cheek, rubbing away tears with her thumb.

“As long as you are safe”, he answered coherently. “I was so sure you were left behind.”

“It was a bad dream.”

“You have no idea how bad.”

He took the hand shed put on his face and kissed her palm.

Her eyes widened at the tingling sensation. He was her best friend, her most trusted crew member. She knew she was special to him. She’d known that ever since New Earth.

He was her warrior, her voice of reason, her support and the only one who really know her faults and fears. At times he’d even been her most vocal critic.

His kiss on her palm was a surprise. Not the fact that it happened, but how it made her feel, how she reacted.

He had closed his eyes and was drifting into sleep. He was utterly exhausted.

 ***

Janeway sighed at the sight of the stack of PADDs on her coffee table. She randomly picked one and started reading.

After having read and signed six and having six left to do she welcomed being paged by the Doctor.

“I am releasing Commander Chakotay, Captain.”

“Are you sure about this, Doctor?”

“No, not entirely”, the Doctor remarked dryly. “But he has not had a relapse since you left and I can’t keep him here unless I am prepared to use restraints. He has agreed to stay in his quarters until I have determined the cause of all this.”

“At least something. Tell the Commander to report to my quarters before going to his own.”

“Aye, Captain.”

“Janeway out.”

She stretched her aching muscles and rubbed her forehead. Was Chakotay really better or was it temporary? The Doctor wasn’t altogether happy that he’d discharged himself.

Her door chimed.

“Come in.”

He stepped in just inside her door and then stopped.

“You wanted to see me, Captain.”

Back to keeping distances and using titles. Okay.

“Yes, Commander.”, she said and got up. Stepping closer to him, almost invading his personal space, she met his eyes without hesitation. “I  need to tell you about your quarters.”

That took him by surprise. He frowned, trying to remain distant, though.

“Take a seat”, she pointed to the couch. “Care for something to drink? Eat?”

“No, thank you. The Doctor provided me with a large and nutritional meal.”

“Coffee, black”, Janeway instructed the replicator. She took the coffee mug, inhaled the aroma before taking a sip and then she sat down next to him. She was embarrassingly aware of that she was stalling and that the distance he kept emotionally was unsettling.

 “Chakotay”, she started, “I am sorry to have to tell you this, but your quarters was in such a state that a few of us had to … tidy them up.”

He frowned again.

“It was just Tom, B’Elanna, Harry and I. We couldn’t leave it like that. Tom  and Harry did a wonderful job mending some things and B’Elanna saved your work console.”

“What happened to my quarters? Was it me? In one of my … rages?” He forced the last, hated word off his lips with something resembling nausea.

She could not begin to grasp his horror about himself capable of violence.

She nodded.

He paled and clenched his fists.

“I have some blurry memories of you being there. Did I hurt you, Captain?”

The awkward question asked in such a painfully polite manner, made her ache for him.

“Not really, Chakotay”, she said softly. “I went into your quarters using my override. Everything was a mess and when I found you in bed I know you were ill. You grabbed me and you were too ill to …”

“To what, Captain”, he snapped.

“To realise your own strength and to know how to let go.”

“Oh, gods.” His voice showed one emotion – pain. “Answer me truthfully, did I hurt you?”

She slid closer and tried to take his hands. He flinched back.

“Don’t touch me!” he exclaimed.

“It is okay.”

“No! It is far from okay, Kathryn!”

She noted that he at least stopped the ‘captain’ thing.

“Just a few bruises that the Doctor mended easily”, she said. “And I always tell the truth to the best of my ability.”

He got up. “I will retire now, if there is nothing else”, he said, avoiding her eyes.

She looked down on her rejected hands for a second and then lifted her gaze to him.

“You can only retire on one condition, Chakotay”, she stated firmly, her throaty voice even lower and more determined than usual.

“Oh? And that is?” he asked coldly.

“The Doctor might have thought it fit to send you back without monitoring your condition, but there is no way I am prepared to let you off the hook so easily. You can choose your own quarters or mine as long as you understand that I will be there too.”

His hands clenched again, making white knuckled fists and his narrowing eyes met hers.

“Is that an order, Captain?”

She cringed but hid it well.

“If that makes it easier, yes.”

“I don’t need a babysitter.”

“I am not a babysitter”, she spat, furious now. “I am your captain and I also am your friend!”

He stared at her and she rose to her feet and stepped up to him, only millimetres between them, almost touching him and stared right back.

Strangely enough that seemed to relax him a bit. He lowered his hands.

“Fine.” He cleared his throat. “Can we stay here? I am not sure I am up to seeing what you guys did to my quarters.”

She smiled teasingly, so relieved she could have cried.

“You did mention you wanted purple-green striped wallpaper at one time, if I remember correctly?”

He rolled his eyes at her and she laughed softly. “Of course we can stay here. I told you so.”

“Mind if I lay down? I feel like run over by a Starfleet Captain.”

She laughed again and pretended to hit him. “Take a load off, Commander”, she said. Even she could hear the tenderness in the way she spoke his title.

He laid down on the couch and she took a blanket from one of the armrests and tucked him in. That made him smile before closing his eyes and falling into immediate sleep.

Janeway didn’t want to be too far away and she still had six reports left to finish. She sat down on the floor, her back against the couch. Sipping her coffee and concentrating on B’Elanna’s wharp core maintenance and Tuvok’s security drills she was soon equally fast asleep.

 ***

Strong arms lifted her startled body and pulled her gently from a hard, unyielding surface.

Janeway tried to break free but a familiar voice eased her.

“Kathryn, it is just me. You can’t sleep sitting on the floor.”

Chakotay, sounding barely awake himself , had tucked her securely between his large body and the back of her couch. He pulled the blanket over both of them.

She should object. She really should, she argued with herself.

But he was so warm and it felt so good to be held. His scent was familiar. Spicy, and soft, like sandalwood. Just for a minute, she thought drowsily. Just for a little while … She was asleep again.

 ***

Hands, strong but tender hands were all over her. Stroking her, caressing her, making her shiver and moan …

Moan?

Janeway awoke in a haze of desire and confusion.

She was still in uniform and the man next to her was in civilian clothes. If took her about ten shocking seconds before she realised it was her First Officer.

He was awake but his eyes had that glazed-over look that meant he was having another relapse.

This time his hands didn’t grab or try to restrain her. This time he was desperately caressing her and he buried his face against her neck, pressing his open mouth there.

“Chakotay”, she said, gasping for air as waves of passion drifted through her veins. “Commander!”

No reaction other than a more overpowering sense of … lust? Now he raised his head and his lips found hers.

Soft warm and passionate did they open her mouth,  gaining access to her tongue. She lost her sense of orientation when his eager tongue probed her mouth, intimately caressing all of it. The sensation flowing within her, piercing her body, was overwhelmingly seductive.

“Oh …”

She moaned under his lips, his hands. His mouth left hers and travelled   along her jaw line down her neck and found the sensitive hollow point at its base.

Her toes curled and she involuntarily arched  against him. It was extraordinary, how this  man could make her feel.

Her response was worrying yet she had little or no strength to resist him.

“Kathryn”, he whispered, hot breath on her moist skin. “I need you … I need you to stop me! Please!”

His anguished words stung and their passionate bubble burst. This was his illness, not of his own doing.

She only hesitated for a second or tow before she pulled back a bit then slapped his cheek hard.

He flinched and pulled back so quickly he ended up on the floor next to the couch.

Janeway sat up and stared at him, cringing, even if she’d had no choice. She was out of breath, her skin still tingling from his presence.

“You had to”, he said between gasps. “There was no way I could have stopped it and this is not how I pictured it to be.”

He revealing words hit her like a tone of bricks.

‘… not like I pictured it to be …’

She kneeled on the couch, looking down on him, sitting on the floor. His eyes were clear and focused now, maybe his condition was improving.

“Chakotay, get off the floor”, she said.

“I better not, just yet”, he answered dryly with a faint smile.

She didn’t understand at first but then blushed a little.

“Oh”, was all she managed.

“Yes, ‘oh’.”

She slid down next to him and took his hand. “Computer, time?”

“The time is 0437 hundred hours.”

“We could try and get some more sleep”, she suggested.

“I doubt that I can relax enough to sleep”, he remarked. “I can still taste you and smell you. My palms still feel you; your smooth, hot skin, sour satin hair, your soft body.”

She blushed so hard it made her cheeks burn. His voice was deep and had a strange velvet quality to it. She ought to stop such talk, but she was speechless, for once.

He changed position and laid down with his head in her lap. She stiffened at first but then her hands were automatically drawn to his hair. She started to stroke him, occasionally tracing his tattoo as he kept talking.

“Your mouth is like a hot well. It made me burn inside as well as quench my thirst for you. I wanted to devour it. You taste like the sweetest berries, all juicy and ripe. Your body is so small, I thought I might hurt you, crush you … But you yielded to me, followed me and pressed against me with such strength. It took my breath away.”

Janeway closed her eyes, letting his intimate, personal perception of her, told with his magical voice, engulf her, surround her, lull her to sleep.

Her head eventually fell back on the seat of the couch and her hands stopped moving in his hair. She had no idea that he moved, got up, lifted her and carried her to bed.

When the morning came he was gone.

 ***

Later the next day, in her ready room, the Doctor paged her with good news. The condition that had tormented her First Officer was subsiding and had not as of yet been reported to have affected any other members of her crew.

“Do you have any idea what caused it?” Janeway asked.

“I have researched the ship’s database and also collaborated with Lt. Torres and we have pinpointed it down to the malfunctioning you so skilfully fixed yourself the other day, Captain.”

“I did?” she asked, she didn’t remember fixing anything. “Oh!” she then exclaimed. “The malfunction of those elusive circuits in the Jeffrey’s tube. That was it?”

“Yes, the problem they caused made the ventilation system originate a low frequent sound that caused Commander Chakotay’s  reaction. I have no explanation yet why he was the only one affected, but there is no other logical explanation. It must have been close to torture for him and he fought it well for the first week but deteriorated from there.”

The humming sound. ‘Oh gods’, she thought, ‘how close it had been.’

“Do you think there will be any more relapses regarding the Commander?” she asked, composing herself.

“Only minor ones, if any”, Doctor stated firmly. “Commander Chakotay strongly feels he can deal with them through meditation and the extensive massage that you can provide, Captain.”

Janeway jumped in her chair and glared at the EMH on her screen

“What? Doctor, I beg your pardon?”

“The Commander assures me that you are a natural. Your hands have a healing, almost magical touch, I believe was his exact word,.”

This was too much. Chakotay was obviously totally without inhibitions, still. She didn’t know weather to laugh or become angry.

“Captain?”

“Very well. You did a fine job, Doctor – and B’Elanna too. Keep me updated on the crew. We don’t want to miss anything.”

“Thank you. Commander Chakotay can return to duty in a day or two if his remission continues.”

“Good. Janeway out.”

Magic hands, huh?

She gritted her teeth and tapped her comm badge.

“Janeway to Chakotay.”

“Chakotay here, Captain.”

“Are you alone in your quarters?”

“Yes, Captain.”

“I have a score to settle with you, Commander!”

“Oh? How is that, Captain?”

Oh, that soft voice.

“Seems I have to toughen up those magic hands of mine, wouldn’t you agree?”

A moment of silence.

“Ah you mean those hands.”

“I only have one pair.”

“Really? I remember their multiple personality last night. First they almost knocked me out and then they soothed me like nothing I ever felt before. You can’t blame me for thinking your hands have evil twins or something.”

She couldn’t help herself, she laughed out loud.

“Chakotay, this must mean you are feeling better.”

“Not as good as I will feel once I return all you gave me last night. Still thinking along the line of hands now.”

Another silence.

“You don’t mean that ‘evil twin’ part, do you?”

“I would never hit a woman, you know that, Kathryn. There are other means.”

She got goose bumps all over.

“Is that a threat?”

“Yes.” His voice seemed so close. “And, knowing you, Kathryn, a challenge.”

***