Disclaimer: This is mostly Paramount's property and only the storyline is mine. I haven't made a single dollar and I don't intend to - so no infringement intended. At all ...

J/C
PG-13

Summary: Chakotay seizes the moment and Janeway asks; "What took you so long?"

This is the first 'chapter' - the second one is available here and more are planned. Do check back later!

1. Just a moment ago …

How could she not hold on to him after all these years?

The thought of withdrawing from the kiss, no matter how searching, maddening, almost violent it had so suddenly become. So very unlike him, so different from how he usually was.

Kathryn shuddered and clung to him, clutching to his arms, afraid to lose her balance and fall, her head spinning, her lungs caving in for lack of oxygen.

“Oh god”, she murmured into his mouth. “Oh … oh …”

He responded by pressing her impossibly harder against him. She couldn’t breathe and now the risk of her fainting was imminent.

“Chakotay”, she whispered, pounding at his shoulders. “Let me go…”

He didn’t seem to hear her at first but when she started to go limp he must have realised what was bothering her and eased up on his pressure.

“I am sorry, Kathryn”, he moaned against her parted lips. “I didn’t mean to be so rough. I just … got caught up in the moment, I guess. You are so absolutely lovely and I have dreamed of this moment so long, I think I tried to make up for it.”

“By trying to fuse us?” Kathryn smiled.

He blushed.

“Apparently.”

She laughed and hugged him closer again. “I wouldn’t mind some more fusing, actually”, she whispered and pressed her lips against his neck. “I love the way you fuse.”

He laughed, a trembling, roaring sound originating from his broad chest, making her legs go week at the knees. What a Borg cube couldn’t do, her First Officer could obviously manage with just a simple sound of happiness. This made Kathryn smile again and then clamp down her teeth into his soft skin, just for emphasis.

Chakotay yelped and tried to pull away, not from any pain really, she had sharp teeth but had merely pinched him a little.

“Kathryn? Are you hungry?”

“No.”

“Then why are you chewing at me, then?”

“I’m not.”

“Yes you were.”

“Just nibbling.”

“Kathryn Janeway nibbles? This is unexpected.”

She laughed, a low, growling, throaty laughter that send ripples down his spine. Her voice was just one of many special things he loved about her. It could chill him, excite him and scare him – sometimes all at the same time. That voice combined with her blue, steady gaze, on occasion named The Death Glare, was a deadly combination. He was not the only one who thought so. The entire crew onboard Voyager would wholeheartedly agree.

“Chakotay”, she mumbled against his skin, sending more shivers down his spine. “This is not the place for this, you know.”

“No?”

“No.”

“What would be a good place then? The bridge?”

She shook her head, smiling against him, he could feel her lips moving.

“Uh-uh.”

“What about the turbo lift, then?

“No, Commander.”

“Jeffrey’s tube eleven?”

She raised her head and glanced at him. “I hear they are popular, the Jeffrey’s tubes. But my answer has to be no.”

He frowned and concentrated.

“Mess hall? No. Under the warp core. Too hot. I know!” He brightened. “Hydroponics bay!”

“Very romantic, Chakotay, but no”, Kathryn snickered.

“How about we stay right here? It is not like they’ll miss us. They think we are doing crew evaluations. That always keeps us in here for hours.”

He ended his sentences by capturing her mouth once again. His tongue was seductive and insisting, tracing her aching lips. Kathryn moaned and a soft moan escaped her.

Chakotay obviously took that as encouragement and lifted her up, carrying her to the couch on the higher level of her ready room. There he sat down with her on his lap, all the time stroking her upper body through the black and red uniform.

“Oh darling”, he breathed, “ you are so beautiful. I don’t know what came over me. I just entered the room and saw you sitting there, frowning over some stupid report … and I had to …”

“Lean over my desk, haul me to my feet, scare the living daylights out of me”, Kathryn finished, smiling.

“Scaring you? I scared you? Captain Kathryn Janeway, the Delta Quadrant Daredevil?”

He chuckled at her expression.

“Excuse me? Daredevil? If this is getting down to name calling, Commander, you are getting into a competition you have no chance of winning.”

“I don’t?”

“No, you don’t, you …”, she inhaled dramatically, “shuttle-crashing, womanising, dimple-flashing, blonde-loving, argumentative … slowpoke!”

He was staring at her with disbelief at first and then started to laugh again. “Oh my goodness… Kathryn! ‘Slowpoke’? What on earth do you mean by that?”

“It took you more than five years to kiss me. That is slow in my book.”

He stopped laughing and with darkening eyes grabbed her quite strongly around her waist with both hands.

“What do you mean, it ‘took me more than five years’?” he asked threateningly.

“It did.”

“You didn’t exactly kiss me either in those five years. You kissed a hologram, you kissed an alien, but now me.”

“Ha! You kissed every blond alien babe of the month you could find. And not me.”

“You could have said you wanted to kiss me.”

She scolded him with half a Death Glare.

“I could not. Protocol as well as regulations say I couldn’t. I am your commanding officer.”

He thought about his answer carefully.

“So you mean – you just waited for me to grab you?”

Kathryn winced a little.

“Well, not exactly grab me … Chakotay! No, no … stop!”

She broke into a fit of laughter and shrieks when he mercilessly tickled her waist with gentle but persistent fingers. Just when she thought he would take it too far, he stopped and pulled her down for another soul searching kiss.

She gave in to it far too quickly, eager to taste him, to have him fill her senses. His scent, spicy, clean and something indefinable, all him, was like a drug she could not be without. Having had to watch him from a distance, as a friend only, for so long had been driving her slowly towards mild insanity. She had caught herself observing him under half lidded eyes on numerous occasions and she knew he had noticed more than on a few of them.

She had blushed and, becoming more and more furious at herself for being so blatantly obvious, she had turned her glances into accusing glares. He had never said anything, but still he had become more and more physical with her.

From being a person that touched her crew constantly she had withdrawn and it had instead been him touching her all the time. Nobody had seem to notice but her.

He would put a hand on her shoulder, making her flinch. He would put a hand in the small of her back and she would tremble. He had really pushed his luck yesterday when he tucked in a stray lock of her auburn hair behind her ear and in the mess hall of all places.

Kathryn had felt her heart stop beating for several seconds before racing right up into her throat, making her choke on her coffee.

Chakotay had just smiled innocently. Too innocently, she could tell, but chose not to confront him. Wrong time and place, she had figured even if that hadn’t stopped him.

And then today he had entered her ready room, stopped in front of her desk, looked down at her with an unreadable expression on his dark features. He had leaned over the desk and grabbed her insistently, pulling her around it and into his arms. Only the fact that he surprised her into shocked passivity allowed him to successfully pull her into his arms and blatantly kiss her again and again. Full, deep kisses, not tentative or careful at all.

Kathryn now gave him access to her lips without hesitation. There was no going back, it would be close to physical pain to withdraw from his embrace. There were no place she would rather be than in his arms.

“Kathryn”, Chakotay mumbled into her mouth, “I need to let go of you now. Help me.”

What did he mean? Let her go?

“I don’t want to”, he groaned. “I rather just take all your clothes off and make love on your couch, but that wouldn’t be right, would it?”

She inhaled and pulled him closer, kissed him again.

“Kathryn, that is not helping …”

She knew that. She just couldn’t let go.

“Darling, stop”, he begged breathlessly.

She woke up from the daze she had been in since he started kissing her.

“I love when you call me darling”, she said, also out of breath. “I agree. We have to stop this … for now.”

He held her close but didn’t kiss her again. “I am not sure how this will work out, Kathryn”, he confessed. “I know you drive me crazy and your are undoubtedly the most stubborn, brilliant, strong woman I have ever met. But you mean the world to me and I think you know that.”

She pulled back a little, her gaze firmly met his.

“Actually, I know nothing of the kind. At least, I didn’t know until a moment ago. I thought you had … moved on a long time ago”, she allowed in a small voice.

He paled a little and swallowed.

“But I thought it was obvious. I have always loved you, Kathryn.”

“There was a time when I knew that – and I chose not to act on it even though I …”

Her voice trailed off and she looked down.

“Even though you – what?”

It was her turn to swallow hard.

“I loved you.”

He went quiet and absolutely still. He held his breath for several seconds, his hand clasping harder at her and by doing so, pulling her closer.

“Loved?” he asked, exhaling slowly. “Past tense?”

She took on her command pose, perhaps without realising it. She had to, there was no way she could be so honest about her most private feelings just by being Kathryn. Captain Janeway would have to enter the equation or she would crumble.

Ramrod straight in his arms she gave him her best Janeway glare.

“I have always loved you, Commander. It was never appropriate, nor was is easy for me, to admit it, but it would be to cowardly of me to avoid the issue now.”

He could just stare for a minute or so, then he started to shiver.

Kathryn observed him anxiously, was he in total shock?

“Oh Kathryn”, he gasped. “Only you could present a declaration of love like you were assigning duties for an away team.” With that comment embraced her again. Kissed her unyielding mouth, hugged her, disregarding her stiff posture.

“I love you, darling”, he offered gently, kissing her neck, soft open mouth kisses that made her go soft and moan. “I love you with all my heart and I always will”, he mumbled. “You are my life, Kathryn Janeway, what ever happens.”

“Oh, Chakotay”, she whispered back, flinging her arms around his neck, holding on for dear life. He was her life, she realised. As much as Voyager and her duty to her crew, this man was the one who could restore her peace of mind, of heart. He was the only one who really knew her among this diverse crew. He was the one she would dream of and wake up aching for in the middle of the night. He was the one she pictured when the only loving touch was her own hands. “I love you.”

After several more kisses and dinner plans for the evening made in feverish whispers, they parted reluctantly. She went behind her desk and sat down. He was standing just outside the door sensors, watching her.

“Eighteen hundred hours then?” he asked.

“Not a minute later, Commander.”

“And if I am early, Captain?”

“Oh no. You might catch me in the shower then?”

“I’ll make sure then”, he said politely. “To be early.”

She favoured him with a special Janeway glare, one she would never use on any other crew member what so ever.

He couldn’t help flinching a little. If she would ever look at him like that when they were alone … He shuddered and knew that in case she did he might not manage to remain so peaceful after all.

To sequel 'Just For Kathryn'