Disclaimer: No, not this time. These characters are all mine! Of course, anyone who ever watched Star Trek Voyager and payed attention will recognise similarities - but this is ALL mine!
UBER STV J/C
Rated R
Part 1/3
Summary: Caitlin Jamison has managed to get away from her demanding work, to go on a well deserved vacation, when she is followed by the only person who has the nerve to approach her. Carl Taylor is there under orders to bring her back, but a rain storm forces them to spend the night together which changes everything.
Ó GB
Part 1.
Just what she
needed, Caitlin Jamison thought and dropped her backpack on the floor in the large room.
Wearily she dragged an elegant hand through her shoulder length auburn hair. This trip had
not been planned at all, suddenly it had all become too much for her, the stress of
commanding such a large ship and having to be on top of everything every waking moment.
Especially the
last intrigues and manoeuvres by her superior officers had been too exhausting for words
to deal with. She had not wanted this ship to begin with but as the first female captain
in the navy, she had had little choice. Jamison realised with considerably dismay that she
was the navy’s poster girl and offering her their flag ship all those years ago had
been pure politics regardless that she had been more than qualified.
She had become
media’s charmed lady, every reporter’s favourite interview object as well as the
target for a lot of men’s envy. After seven years of holding the captaincy she was
fed up, there simply were no other word for it. She had had it up to her fragile neck with
all the administrative issues and idle gossip of her subordinates. All she wanted now was
to relax and not think about the choices she was going to have to make.
The cottage
consisted of only one room. A large bed was in the far right corner, a dining table with
four chairs in the opposite corner and an old, comfortable couch in front of an open fire
place. She regarded the pile of wood next to it and decided that making a fire would be
her first priority.
A couple of
minutes later she smiled contentedly while regarding the now roaring fire. She had learned
to do this when she was a young girl and now at the age of forty-four she was pleased to
find out she still could. Smiling wryly she admitted to herself that she didn’t much
appreciate being inept at anything.
The kitchenette
next to the dining area was stocked up as promised, the small fridge full of vegetables
and fresh milk. The small cabinets contained canned food as well as plates and glasses.
She didn’t like to cook but wasn’t bad at it. She would be happy to just open
any can and heat it in a pan, later on.
After unpacking
Jamison put on a comfortable long, blue dress and grabbed a book from the bottom of her
backpack. She read the title and grinned. ‘The Highway Robber’s Mistress’.
What would her
next in command on the ship say if he knew what his captain read? Carl Taylor was the only person with whom she
could say she liked working with and felt comfortable around. He was a quiet but still
very intense man who only talked when he had something to say. Then again, he could be a
terrible tease when given the chance and he knew just how to push some of her buttons.
Jamison had worked
with him for six years and had yet to discover anything really annoying or displeasing
about him. He was handsome and more than one starry eyed sailor, both male and female, had
tried their best to approach him, but as far as Jamison knew he did not mix business with
pleasure.
She was however
sure that he would get a lot of pleasure in finding out her reading preferences, she
smiled to herself.
She started to
read but already after five or six pages she slowly dropped the book and fell asleep on
the couch.
She was going to
be mad as hell.
No, correction,
Carl Taylor thought exasperatedly, she would probably be mad as a hellcat. His
captain sorely needed this vacation and now he had been assigned to bring her back in
again, to handle their emergency. No matter how he had tried to tell the brass that it
could be dealt with without her, they had been stubborn and wanted her back as soon as
possible.
He was angry
himself. Furious at them for using her the way they did; adding constantly to her duties
and by doing so making her burden heavier for each passing year. Taylor knew they needed
her more than she did them and sometimes he wanted to tell her to get out of this job
before it killed her.
She was a petite
woman with a commanding presence that didn’t allow just anyone to realise just how
fragile she was. He doubted that she realised how well he had come to know her. She would
sit in her chair on the bridge and look across what ever ocean they were crossing with her
even blue-grey eyes. She would issue her orders in that low, throaty voice that demanded
respect as well as immediate action and if by chance he had to offer his opinion, she
would listen but make it blatantly clear who had the ultimate responsibility and power.
It was her
intense, passionate way of doing things, of throwing herself into every assignment with
abandon that took its toll on her and lately had caused the dark circles under her eyes as
well as her temper to scare the hell out of the crew.
He pulled his jeep
over when he spotted her station wagon parked a little further to the right. The trail
leading up to the secluded cottage she had rented started here and he wanted to move
quickly before it became dark.
She was definitely
not going to like this.
The knocking on
the door awoke Jamison and she sat up on the couch, a bit confused and not entirely
focussed.
There was another
knock, this time louder.
“Alright,
alright,” she muttered and got up. “Who the hell …?”
She peered through
the window but it was dark outside and the rain was pouring down; all she could make out
was a large dark shadow on her doorstep.
She opened the
door and involuntarily took a step back when a cold wind made large drops of rain splatter
all over her.
“Captain?”
The dark, smooth
voice was familiar and she squared her shoulders, not sure she had heard correctly.
“Taylor?
Carl, what are you doing here?” she asked incredulously.
“Sorry for
disturbing you, Captain, but as soon as you left there was an emergency and I am under
orders to collect you.”
She closed her
eyes and sighed. More rain gushed through the door. “You better come in and explain.”
He stepped inside
and took in the sight.
“This is
… cosy, Captain.”
Jamison shot him a
look and frowned. “Get to the point, Taylor. Why is that they need me only hours
after I left the base?” she growled softly, her most dangerous voice, known to anyone
who had ever worked under her command.
“May I get
out of these clothes, Captain? I am making a puddle here.”
She nodded but
didn’t take her eyes off him and didn’t invite him to sit.
Taylor removed his
raincoat and tried to smooth down his wrinkled uniform.
“The orders
are for you to return to the ship and …” he cleared his throat knowing what
would come, “… be present for the participants of the United European Trading
Convention. They have apparently expressed their interest and … uh, fascination
regarding the only female captain in our navy and since they are about to place a
substantial order for both aircraft and ships from our country ...”
Jamison froze and
then felt red hot anger start off in the pit of her stomach and rise in to her mouth,
tasting of iron.
“What the
hell is the United European Trading Convention? You mean to tell me that they want to pull
me in from my first vacation in ages to baby sit some potential customers and that I also
have to parade once again like some kind of stupid icon?” she snarled, taking two
quick steps towards him, invading his personal space.
“I am sorry,
but that pretty much sums it up, Captain,” he said wistfully. “I regret to be
the one who had to tell you. But I though I better volunteer, since I am the only one who
had any idea where you planned to go. I didn’t think you want anyone else to know
about this place.”
He was right of
course but that did little to soothe her anger.
“How long do
I have?”
He sighed.
“We really
have to depart immediately but it took me longer to walk up the trail than I thought due
to the rain and there is no way we can make it down in the dark. We should start out at
daybreak tomorrow.”
Jamison sighed
inwardly and stepped back a little. There really was no reason to yell at him, he was
trying to protect what little privacy she had.
“I am sorry,
Carl,” she said. “Are you hungry? I think I’m going to make some coffee and
a couple of sandwiches. Interested?”
He smiled and
nodded. “Thank you, I would appreciate something hot to drink, actually, it was a bit
cold at the end.”
Jamison turned
around and headed for the kitchenette. “Cheese sandwiches?” she asked over her
shoulder.
“Sounds fine,”
he answered.
It did feel a bit
odd to arrange a meal, although very simple, for her next in command, Jamison thought.
They had shared many meals together in the officer’s mess hall but none in private
like this. They had of course pulled a lot of working all-nighters but that had been on
the ship, not in complete privacy; the situation had a strange affect on her, making her a
little uneasy. Surely the cottage had seemed a lot larger before he showed up?
A scraping sound
behind her made her jump a little. She turned around and saw Taylor making himself useful
arranging the chairs around the small dining table.
“Oh, good, it’s
ready soon,” she said flatly and turned back to finish making the sandwiches.
“Anything I
can do to help?” he asked and came up next to her.
Jamison swallowed
hard and tried to not drop the coffee mugs she took from the upper cabinets. “You can
put these and those plates there, on the table,” she answered.
“Okay,”
he said and swiftly set the table.
Jamison regarded
him through the corner of her eyes; he seldom made any redundant movements. He was always
very thorough and precise. She admired him deep down; she wished she could be like him
sometimes. Cool, together and with a gentle spirit. She had witnessed him reprimand
crewmen and still he seemed to maintain his calm, that almost tangible inner peace.
Obviously his
approach to command had as great an impact as her mix of power and silent menace. She
commanded mostly on trust but she didn’t kid herself, she knew she induced fear in
many of her crewmen. They feared her in ways they would perhaps not fear any man, but she
had long ago found that distancing her from her crew also meant that they assumed the
worst about her from lack of personal insight. She had no problem using that to her
advantage to enforce her command.
Carl Taylor was
the first to try hard to get to know her. She had tested him over and over that first year
but he had persisted in his efforts and now she depended on him as much as she ever could
depend on another person.
They ate in
silence, the look on Jamison’s face not allowing for any conversation. She was still
very angry and was trying to think of a way to weasel out of this silly arrangement. The
brass was trying to pull one of their publicity stunts and she was not going to let them
do it without a fight.
“Do you have
a cell phone with you?” she asked abruptly. “I didn’t bring mine as I didn’t
want to be reached, for obvious reasons.”
“Yes, I did,
but the connection is not very good up here,” Taylor answered as he got up to fetch
it from the inside pocket of his navy issue raincoat.
He glanced at the
display and made a face. “No connection, I’m afraid. We’re too far up the
mountain trail.”
“Damn,”
Jamison exhaled. “I am not going to leave to satisfy their wish to make more dollars
and keep an amicable attitude between the what-ever convention and us. There are a number
of media eager captain’s in the navy. Why do they have to haul me in? Why not one of
them? I am sure that for instance Captain Loomis and Admiral Harrington would love to be
the centre of attention.”
Taylor laughed
softly and nodded.
“I am sure
they would, Caitlin, but they are not beautiful, highly skilled and nor do they have red
hair and an enigmatic personality. In fact, if I remember correctly, Admiral Harrington is
bald.”
“Carl!”
Jamison blurted out, a faint blush on her cheeks. He sometimes teased her in private but
never had he paid her a compliment like that before. “What on earth did you sneak
into that coffee I made? You never talk like that.”
The dark-haired
man smiled even wider. “Oh, I do, just not to you face. The coffee was excellent as
usual, Captain. But you drink way too much of it as always.”
“I do? I am
only on my third cup,” she said, feeling puzzled over how he again managed to turn
the conversation over on her again.
He raised an
eyebrow and smirked. “Third. I rest my case.”
She couldn’t
help but smile at him. He had become a good friend these last years and in more than one
situation he had been there for her professionally. And now, for the first time, he was
there for her personally. She had used this cottage as a refuge before and nobody among
her crew or her superior officers knew where it was, she had made sure of that. Only once
had her tongue slipped and that had been during a nightshift on the bridge when she had
let her guard down. They had been talking about what they like doing on their spare time
and she had in a moment of weakness talked about the mountains, of how she loved hiking
and staying at her childhood friend’s cottage whenever she had the chance.
Taylor had in turn
talked about his boat, an old Chris craft, not very big and rather primitive; but it was
his way of being free and unreachable.
Jamison had told
him where the cottage were and after he revealed to her where he kept his boat. In
retrospect, this was perhaps a mistake since she was about to have her vacation ruined.
“A penny for
them?” Taylor asked softly.
Jamison flinched
and tried to cover up by dragging a hand through her auburn hair. “Oh, no, nothing
important. Just still … mad at the brass, you know,” she smiled wryly.
“I know. If
there had been any other …”
“Don’t
worry about it. It wasn’t your fault. It is just …” She cut herself off and
sighed.
“It is just
too much sometimes, isn’t it?” Taylor asked. “I know how much you looked
forward to this time off. I also think they could not have picked a lousier time to drag
you back in. You have been looking tired lately.”
She glared at him.
What was he implying?
“What do you
mean, Taylor?” she asked in a low voice.
He only smiled at
her attempt to intimidate him. “Only that you have been a little paler than usual and
that your temper has a fuse as short as nothing I have ever seen. You were terrifying
everybody around you, Caitlin.”
She was stunned.
He had never, ever talked to her in such a personal, audacious way.
“You have the
nerve to sit here and …”
“I am sorry,
Caitlin, no, correction, I am not sorry. You are reckless with yourself sometimes and
nobody was happier than I was to find out you were going on a longer vacation. I was about
to commit murder when Admiral Rowe started looking for you.”
Jamison rose from
her chair and paced back and forth a couple of times before speaking to him again.
“Let me get
this straight. You think I was scaring people, you think I was in dire need of a break and
then you were upset when they wanted me to report back in. Am I going to find a report
from the admiral of insubordination on your part when I get back?” she growled,
putting her hands on her hips.
“No, ma’am.
I am sure you will find that the admiral was very grateful that I knew where to find you.
I talked around him and I know you will be relieved to recognise that he still has no clue
of your whereabouts.”
Jamison stared at
him for about half a minute, but then her face lit up and she started laughing.
“You snake!”
she exclaimed. “You are such a snake, Commander Taylor, and I am very
grateful. I do not want Admiral Rowe on my doorstep up here and you have probably just
saved me from that. Sorry I yelled at you again, Carl, when I should have thanked you to
begin with.”
Taylor smiled back
at her and her laughter was apparently contagious because soon he was laughing too,
putting his hand over his eyes.
“I can only
imagine what welcome you would have given him if had been the one to show up,” he
managed between fits of laughter.
“It would
have ended with a court martial, no doubt,” she smiled. “Mine.”
“Oh my, well,
so in spite of things, it was better it was me then?” he asked.
She nodded and sat
down again. “Yes. Saved my career … and the admiral’s life.”
His smile faded.
“What?”
Jamison asked, concerned. “What’s wrong?”
“No, I’m
sorry, it’s nothing.”
“It is. Tell
me,” she insisted.
He hesitated,
rubbing his neck and looking like he wished to be anywhere but in her steady, relentless
gaze.
“Alright,
Caitlin,” Taylor said and leaned back, folding his hands on the table in front of
him. “You are going to be mad at me, but I am used to that by now. I have become more
and more concerned, not about you, but for you. You are driving yourself too hard and the
brass are taking advantage of your determination to be the best. Your heart isn’t in
it, the captaincy I mean, not the way it was anyway. You go through the motions and you do
that well, but you are not eating properly or getting enough rest.”
If Jamison had
been stunned before, she was absolutely flabbergasted now. The presumptuous son of a
…
“And no, I am
not after your job either,” he forestalled her. “I have been offered several
vessels but so far the job has not tempted me. I’m not sure how it happened, but the
thought of having to work with anyone else but you and that has absolutely no appeal to
me.”
“You have
turned down promotions because of some misguided … feeling … about me? Why?”
she asked, her voice a mere whisper.
“In a way.
But not because of you, because of me. Because of how I feel about not working with you.”
This was the most
outrageous thing she had ever heard. This was simply not the way things were handled in
the navy. She had been serving in the navy for almost twenty-five years and never had she
heard such foolish reasoning. But then again, this was Commander Carl Taylor, not your
average sailor. She sighed and combed through her hair again with both hands.
“You realise
how this sounds, don’t you?” she asked, shooting him a disapproving look.
“I do.
Knowing you, I must sound certifiable. But you know me pretty well too, I never say
anything I don’t mean.”
“Neither do
I.”
“I know that
too.”
Shaking her head
at him, she had to smile.
“I never
realised I made such an impression on you,” she smirked.
“Oh, but you
do. I admire you, as you probably know. You are a great Captain, the best I have ever
served with, you are a gorgeous woman, but that is not why I turned them down. It is just
… I need to be … near you.”
She gasped
audibly, this was unexpected, to say the least. This was
personal, not at all what she would ever expect him to say. The navy had
strict rules about fraternisation and this bordered to what was allowed – and not.
“Taylor,”
she warned in a low voice.
“I know,
Caitlin. Don’t worry, I am not going to make myself impossible. You have never led me
to believe that you appreciate me in any other way than as a colleague and friend. Stop
frowning.”
He leaned across
the table and smoothed the worried wrinkles from her forehead.
“I am
transparent on occasion, aren’t I?” she asked and grinned sheepishly.
“Only to me,
I think,” he answered and smiled that breathtaking smile, making his eyes squint and
his aura radiate.
“I do
appreciate you as a friend and as my most trusted colleague,” she replied softly.
“You have never caused me to do otherwise.”
“Then will
you trust me again and listen to something else I have to tell you?” he asked, his
sudden seriousness making her uneasy. She gazed at him and then dipped her head.
“Alright.”
“They are
wearing you down, Caitlin and I think they are having ulterior motives.”
Her eyes widened
but she let him continue.
“I think
there are those among the admirals that use you both for your skill as a captain and for
your position as the only female captain. Then there are those who keep you going on drill
after drill, on manoeuvre after manoeuvre to keep you busy and to drain you. Think about
it, you are on your first vacation in God knows how long and they want to haul you back in
to the fold the very same day you leave. This is not the first time either, remember when
you and your sister had planned to go skiing? And the time you were going home for
Christmas for the first time in two years? And then, last summer when …”
“Stop, stop,”
she gasped and rose again. She walked up to the window, watching the rain pour down and
slam against the glass by the force of the wind. She was anything but paranoid but she
could see the pattern he was describing. Could it be true? Could it be that there were
forces at work to make her so sick and tired of the nave that she’d want to quit?
She could see his
image in the window as he came up behind her.
“What do you
really think?” she whispered.
He put his large,
tanned hands on her narrow shoulders.
“I think you
have to be very careful when you go back. I will be there with you to watch your back but
I can’t be with your twenty-four hours a day and I just have this … feeling,
that something is going on. Something bad.”
It was crazy, she
thought. This sounded like something from a bad movie, not at all like something her very
dedicated and serious next in command would say. But since he was who he was, her most
trusted crewman and friend, she had to believe him, or at least trust that he believed it.
“Carl,”
she said huskily. “You are scaring me and you are making me furious. Not at you, but
at the circumstances. I am tired and I am very overworked. My family doctor has warned me
several times. He wants me to stop drinking coffee, to go on medical leave and he is not
speaking to me right now for not obeying. You know me, I have never listen to doctors.”
He smiled wryly.
“Yes, I know
you. I don’t pretend to know you well, but you have let me close a couple of times
and on those occasions I have glimpsed a woman I don’t think anybody on the ship or
among the brass has ever seen. That is why I had to come myself, not only to protect your
sanctuary, but because I just had to. Will you forgive me for being so presumptuous?”
She chuckled deep
in her throat, really not wanting to smile but had to because his reflection in the window
showed him looking really remorseful.
“It is okay,
Carl,” she smiled. “You make me furious sometimes but I trust you to always want
what is best, even if you sometimes are … misguided.”
“Misguided?
Me?” He feigned innocence.
“Yes,
Commander. You.”
She pivoted and
his arms fell as she was facing him. He was close, closer than what his image in the
window had led her to believe. He smelled of rain and of a soft, spicy scent that she had
come to associate with him. He had the softest look in his dark eyes and a small smile
played on his lips as he gazed down at her. Jamison suddenly felt vulnerable without her
uniform and especially without wearing any shoes. He towered over her and it had a strange
affect on her, both overwhelming and reassuring at the same time.
“Caitlin?”
he mumbled, still looking into her eyes.
“This is not
going well,” she murmured, her voice catching a little as her mouth suddenly felt
very dry.
“What do you
mean?”
“I am not
sure, but this is not good. I have this sense of …”
“Foreboding?”
“Danger.
Definite danger, Commander.”
He raised one hand
and cupped her chin. His touch was steady and warm, without hesitation.
“Do you trust
me, Captain?” he asked.
“Yes.”
He bent his head
and brushed his lips against hers. She had not anticipated such a move and was again
astonished, taken completely by surprise.
“Well?”
She frowned.
“Well what?”
“Do you still
trust me?”
She closed her
eyes and then glared at him exasperatedly.
“Yes.”
He now raised his
other hand and framed her face. His thumbs found her lower lip, caressed it softly, making
it separate from her upper lip. Before she realised what her body was up to, the tip of
her tongue had sneaked out and tasted his skin and her knees buckled a little.
Seeing her sway
slightly made him remove his hands and quickly grab her by the shoulders. Pointing her to
the couch he followed her there and sank down next to her, one arm still around her
shoulders. His gaze fell on her abandoned book and his left eyebrow almost met his
hairline.
“‘The
Highway Robber’s Mistress’, Caitlin?” he asked, incredulously. “Is
this what you read when you are not diving into sea charts and Commander Stewart’s
tactical reports? You never cease to amaze me.”
She blushed. She
hated it, but her cheeks turned a bright crimson.
“Uh, well, it
is … relaxing,” she muttered, avoiding his eyes by focusing on some non-existent
dust on the couch.
“I think it’s
great,” he said brightly. “Shows a romantic side of you I never knew existed.”
“I don’t
have a romantic side,” she growled quietly but with obvious menace.
“Oh, but you
do. Thinking about it, you are very romantic. The only extended leaves you have ever
approved have been to newly weds.”
She swatted him,
harder than she meant at first, but he was making her very uncomfortable and
self-conscious.
“Okay, you
can stop shooting daggers at me with those eyes. I’ll stop it,” Taylor laughed
and put the book away. “Now, where were we?”
Her eyes grew
bigger and at first she didn’t understand. But when he captured her lips again, this
time with more passion and much, much more feeling. She tried to put her hands between
them to keep him away, only to find that her body, her hands, betrayed her altogether.
They sneaked up around his neck and she was helpless against the warm, irritatingly fuzzy
feeling that welled up inside her. She had not been this close to anybody for ages and
now, being here in a rainstorm with him, with the one person she could trust, was
obviously too much for her.
“This is
madness,” she mumbled into his mouth. “This is fraternising with somebody below
myself in the chain of command. I could be court-martialled.”
“No, you can’t.
We haven’t done anything yet and if it would come to that. I’ll quit. There is
no way I would let any harm come to you, Caitlin.”
She allowed the
kiss to deepen for a couple of seconds before his words registered.
“You would
what?” she exclaimed. “What are you saying? Quit?”
Jamison pulled
back, or tried to, but Taylor’s large hands pulled her back to him, hugged her close.
“I have
wanted to do this for a long time now, but not until today have I ever felt that you would
… allow it. I am in love with you, I guess I always have been. You are not my first
captain, but definitely the first captain I have ever wanted to kiss and protect.”
“Your other
captain’s have been male,” she pointed out tersely.
“That too.”
Jamison stopped
trying to add some distance between them. It was irritating but she felt so safe and warm,
being held like this.
“You love me?”
“Yes,
darling.”
“You would
quit your job?”
“Mm.”
She frowned.
“What would
you do?”
“Go back to
my first career. Teach.”
“You’re
a teacher?” She was surprised.
“Don’t
tell me you had forgotten already. I taught marine biology at the local university in my
hometown in Oregon,” he said, sounding a bit hurt.
She glanced up at
him, catching his grin.
“Oh, I
remember now,” she said, hiding her face again, not to let him catch her smile back.
She was quiet for
a moment. “What if I quit?” she whispered.
He stopped
breathing. For about ten seconds he held his breath and then his hand was in her hair,
pulling her head back while gazing into her eyes.
“You’d
quit? You’d give up the captaincy? All you worked so hard for?” he asked in one
breath, stunned.
“You said I
needed to get out of that hostile environment,” she reminded him gently.
“No, no, I
didn’t mean you should quit. I meant you should move up, accept the promotion they
have been bugging you with for the last year. Get out of the immediate spotlight
commanding that damn ship puts you in.”
Jamison smiled
gently and let her fingers caress his cheek.
“And what do
you think being even higher up in the ranks will do to me? Do you think I will be any less
a target for who ever thinks I don’t belong where I am now? Do you honestly think I
will have more free time, less duties?” She shook her head. “It was not just to
get away for a couple of weeks on a long deserved vacation I came up here. I had to decide
just this. Do I quit or stay – and if I stay; on what terms? What I never factored in
was that my next in command was … attracted to me. That you …”
“… were
always dreaming of you? Always wanted to care for you?”
She blushed.
“Yes, if you
want to put it like that.”
“I do. What I
don’t know is how you feel about me? Am I only your trusted friend and colleague or
do I stand a chance to be something more?”
I might be blind
as a bat when it comes to some things, Jamison thought dryly, but I am not a coward.
“You are
indeed a very good friend and by far my most trusted colleague, all categories. But you
have also the potential of becoming something more. Only our jobs have kept me from even
thinking about it, no that is a lie, I have
thought about it. For about two seconds at a time, before I slammed on the command mask
again and quoted the rule book in my head, over and over.”
He stared at her.
“Are you
serious? You have been … you are attracted to me? It is not just … you being
grateful?”
She had to smile.
He was delicious when he was this confused and incoherent. That was a new side to him; she
had never known she could turn him into a babbling fool just by being honest about her
feelings. She had yelled at him, threatened him in that first year, dismissed him and
stalked out and slammed the door on him on more times than she could count but he had kept
his cool and been very professional. All it took was apparently a declaration of
attraction to sway him.
“Caitlin, you
…” he tried but gave up and wrapped her up into his arms again. This time she
kissed him, explored his mouth with abandon and by doing so making them both breath
faster.
“Carl,”
she moaned. “I am sorry for all the times I made your job very difficult. I am very
sorry.”
“Don’t
be. Don’t you think I don’t notice you only lose your patience when you are
under all that stress from your superiors?” he asked her softly while brushing gentle
kisses on her cheeks and temples. “You are always much more together and relaxed
during long periods at sea when you can do your job without interruption. It is when we
are in port you crumble a little, when they drag you through social functions or endless
meetings and at the same time expect you to perform your ordinary duties. If I can make it
easier for you by being your sounding board and safety valve, so be it.”
Two small, crystal
clear tears welled up and ran down her cheeks. She had never known, never seen the
connection and all the time it had been so clear to him.
“You do love
me?” she asked, knowing all along.
“Yes, I do.”
“Will you be
patient with me? I am sort of behind here, you seem to have the advantage.”
“I will be as
patient as it takes,” he assured her.
“It will get
ugly tomorrow,” she warned him.
“I’ll be
there.”
“I will not
quit.”
“I know that.”
“But
…”
“I have a
confession to make; I have already handed in my own resignation. It will be on Admiral
Rowe’s desk in the morning.”
She stared for
while, completely speechless, and then flung her arms around his neck. “Oh, no, Carl!
But, what if … you have thrown everything away …” Her voice broke and she
pressed her face against his neck.
“I did only
what I had to, what I have thought about doing for months now. I had to. I figured that if
I was lucky enough to convince you to give me a chance – I would have to quit. And if
you had turned me down altogether – I would still have to quit. There is no way I
could have remained under your command if you had not … I would have liked to remain
your friend, though.”
She couldn’t
believe what she was hearing. The selflessness of this man was incredible. He was one of a
kind and had she not known him for so long, she would have been certain he was too good to
be true.
“Carl,”
she whispered. “You are way ahead of me, but know this; there is no way, no way in
hell I could ever imagine my life without you. When you kissed me for the first time just
now, I felt something click into place. I am not sure what that means, but it is a relief
that whatever happens, you will always want to be my friend.”
He smiled at her
and then kissed her hair.
“You realise
that we have to spend the night here,” he teased her gently. “We might find out
awfully fast if we are … compatible or not.”
She stared at him.
“Now, that is a bit presumptuous.”
“Why? I
meant, I will find out if you snore and things like that.”
Damn him. He made
her blush all the time, that was something new to their relationship which she wasn’t
sure she approved of.
“Oh.”
She closed her eyes briefly.
“What did you
think I meant?” he asked innocently.
“You know
what I thought.”
“No.
Enlighten me?”
She felt little
horns growing from her forehead.
“Well,
judging from the fear in your voice, I though you were afraid that I might jump you and
ravish you in the middle of the night,” she said sweetly.
To her delight a
faint blush crept up his high cheekbones.
“Uh …
you did?”
“Definitely.”
He locked his eyes
on hers and then a slow, incredibly sexy smile formed on his lips, making her regret her
bold words.
“Ravish me in
the night, huh?” he said slowly. “Just how did you plan to do that, Captain
Jamison? I am after all a great deal larger than you.”
She swallowed.
“Yes, that is
true, but I have my ways,” she tried, both giddy and nervous. “After all, I am
the captain.”
Taylor quirked an
eyebrow.
“They taught
how to ravish commanders twice ones size at the officers school?” he asked in mock
surprise. “That was creative of them.”
The captain
groaned and hid her face in her hands. “Oh alright, I give! Stop this, you are going
to make me blush again and I hate blushing. I am over forty for heaven’s sake, not
some school girl.”
He laughed but
relented.
“Come here.”
He pulled her close and kissed her tenderly. “You know, I can’t think of anybody
I would rather be ravished by then you, Caitlin.”
“Ha.”
“No,
seriously. I have not exactly had all pure thoughts about you, darling,” he
confessed. “There has been one or two pretty steamy ones.”
She blushed and
feeling her cheeks burn made her growl and attack him, relentlessly pinning him down on
the couch, ending up on top of him with her hair in wild locks around her heated face.
“You promised
you would not make me blush!” she hissed.
“I’m
sorry,” he tried but had the wind knocked out of him when she punched him in the
stomach. “Ooh!”
Then he glanced up
at her and became very still.
“What?”
she asked, puzzled by his expression.
“You are so
beautiful,” he stated softly. “With you hair all tousled and dressed in that
soft blue gown. I have never seen you this beautiful, not even when all dressed up to kill
in one of your elegant evening dresses.”
If he hadn’t
sounded so wondrous, almost reverent, she would have answered in her usual dry joke style,
but the awe in his eyes and the tenderness in his voice didn’t allow for that.
Jamison smiled, a
genuine happy smile.
“Thank you,”
was all she managed but it was apparently enough because he beamed at her and pulled her
down, tucking he in under his chin.
“Comfortable?”
he asked.
“Very.”
He managed to pull
a blanket over them and after a couple of minutes they were both asleep.
He was warm, no
hot, and something was restraining his right side. Taylor opened his eyes, disoriented and
not fully aware of where he was at first.
Oh, yes, the
cottage. Caitlin Jamison … and … his was suddenly wide open, remembering what
had happened and who was snuggling close almost on top of him.
His body was more
ready than his mind to accept her close proximity, reacting in a completely normal way to
having a beautiful woman in his arms. He didn’t want to embarrass himself or her and
tried to angle himself away from her a bit.
“Lie still,”
a throaty, familiar voice said, startling him.
“Did I wake
you?” he mumbled.
“No, I was
awake. But lie still, already.”
He closed his eyes
and tried, cursing his treacherous body who only wanted to roll towards her, press against
her or preferably inside her. Chastising himself for being so crude in his thoughts he
tried to move a little away from her again.
“Carl, what
is the matter … why can’t you just … oh …” She had raised herself
on one elbow and exasperatedly glared at him and then clearly noticed his condition.
“I’m
sorry,” he whispered, smiling a bit nervously.
“Oh. No, don’t
be. I guess, it’s … Uh, normal?” she answered hastily.
“I know it
is. It happens every so often when you are on my mind. Or in this case, on my body as
well.” He tried to joke. He wasn’t seriously embarrassed but he knew she had not
been in any relationship for quite a while and he wanted least of all for her to feel
threatened in any way. Better then to take it from the humorous side.
“I’m
flattered,” she smiled a little tentatively. “I guess I can count myself lucky
being a woman. Such things are not that obvious on me.”
His eyebrows
almost left his forehead. Did she realise what she just said? Or was it just a slip of her
tongue. Her tongue. Oh, every part of her seemed incredible erogenous. Damn.
“You mean,
your body is reacting like mine but you can hide it better?” he tried casually.
His captain
frowned a little, her statement had not been entirely deliberate, then, he smiled
inwardly.
“Uh, I guess
so.” She quickly sank down beside him again.
“How then?”
he whispered in her ear.
Her body went
rigid. “I can’t tell you that!”
“Sure you
can. You have the advantage here. I can’t deny anything, can I?”
He guessed that
she was rather pleased to have any advantage whatsoever but she was gutsy, he knew that
and hardly ever back down from a challenge.
She softly cleared
her throat.
“Well, I
suppose … My nipples react.”
“How?”
he teased her. He was not altogether serious but a part of him was dying to hear her
answer.
“They get
hard … and ache. You know.”
“That is all?”
She didn’t
speak for so long, he thought she wouldn’t answer.
“I get
swollen. And wet.” Her voice was hardly audible, but it sent shivers down his spine
and his arousal was almost painful. He wanted to crush her to him but knew it was too
much, too soon. He wanted her to love him, to need him as he did her and making love now
would not accomplish that. It could be a big mistake and he was not about to gamble with
her feelings for one night of immense pleasure.
“I am glad
that you do get … swollen and wet,” he whispered back, making her squirm next to
him. “One day I will feel for myself just how wonderful that is. I will hold you
close and let my fingers explore you. Or would you rather I used my mouth?”
She gasped and hid
her face against him.
“Do you
expect me to answer that?” she croaked. “You are making me blush again,
Commander.”
“It is okay,”
he said gently. “I am blushing too.”
That sent a
shudder through her but she pressed closer against him.
“Well, answer
then?” he insisted quietly.
“I would want
your fingers and your mouth, too.”
“Oh, Caitlin.
I would die to be at the mercy of your fingers and your mouth one day. You have such
elegant hands and your mouth is so sexy and not to mention your voice … Let me tell
you; the thought of your voice keeps a rather lonely man company during the nights.”
“Oh, Carl
… “ she moaned. “You have to stop talking like this, or I will
ravish you.”
He was tempted.
He almost
convinced himself that no harm would come of them finding some physical release and
happiness in the rainy night but then his conscience won and he could hug her without too
many erotic undertones.
“I would love
to be ravished and ravish you right back, my Captain, but that is not going to happen
tonight. But the next time we share a bed or a couch., nothing will keep me from loving
you in every possible way.”
She sighed against
his neck.
“I know you
are right. I know. But … “
“I know.”
He hummed softly
in her ear, lulling her back to sleep. Tomorrow would be hard on her. He was the one with
the easy way out, resigning was not as tough as staying and fighting. She was going to
need him there to back her up when she got home and he would be there.
He carefully
stroked her hair.
He had been right.
She had become mad as a hellcat but he was very glad he came anyway. He simply loved her
too much to stay away.
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